Why is Halle Berry Crazy But Steve Harvey Is A Relationship Guru?

Last week, famous actress, Halle Berry announced that she was ending her third marriage to Oliver Martinez. It didn't take long for the bitter, misogynistic men brigade to chime in with how crazy Halle is, which is why she can't keep a man. It didn't take long for the women to offer some self-deprecating advice too, about how she should make better choices in her selection of men. Well, I am telling all of you to have a collective row of seats!

The same ones, raking Halle over the coals, have been through your share of sex partners, failed relationships, and bad choices. The only difference is yours did not play out in the media.

Even her former husbands, David Justice and Eric Benet, who couldn't keep their penises out of other women's vaginas while they were married to her, took to Twitter to take cheap shots at her. But this blog entry is not about those two busters!

Not only do you need to mind your business, but you need to stop being hypocrites. Some of the same ones of you, ridiculing Halle, flock to hear Steve Harvey speak, tune in to his daily talk show, and line his pockets with your money from all of his self-help relationship books that you buy. It matters not to you that he is on his third marriage (which probably will not be his last if he finds someone better looking than Majorie who happens to catch his eye). It bothers you not that every new Mrs. Harvey was the mistress while he was married to the former Ms. Harvey. Why no ridicule and shame for him? Because he is a man! It makes him right and superior regardless, at least to hear men tell it, and to some self-deprecating women as well.



I don't follow the crowd, and all I want from Steve is for him to tell jokes, and entertain me. If I need relationship advice, I will go to a family member or friend, who actually has some time and good decision making under their belts.

And for those of you shaming Halle, yet praising Steve, you'll need better role models!

Until next time....

What Most of You Got Wrong About Spring Valley High

Put aside your prior knowledge of teenagers and their attitudes or ability to have one. Put aside your prior knowledge and belief that black people are savage beasts who need to be tamed. Put aside your prior knowledge and belief that cops are good people who uphold the law and are here to protect and serve.

I want you to think like a human being first, and parent, second, and finally think about what you see with your eyes, because your eyes will never lie to you.

Unless you live under a rock, or are so totally self-absorbed that you just don't give a damn, many of you have seen the disgusting video footage of the school resource officer, Ben Fields, of Spring Valley High in Columbia, SC. He not only physically grabs a young black girl, but then pulls her and her desk to the floor in an attempt to physically remove her from a classroom. He drags her across the floor like an animal.  That is all you need to know!

I asked you to think like a human being first, because what human deserves that type of treatment? Remember in this same state, just four months ago, Dylan Roof, a white teen, got a private plane ride and Burger King, when he murdered nine people. This young girl was sitting quietly and non-threatening in a desk. I don't care what you have heard about her supposed infractions or why the police were called, I see a grown man dragging a child, and that is enough for me.

I asked you to think like a parent, second, because as a parent, if you had video footage of someone dragging your child across the floor with a desk on top of them, what would be your reaction? I have seen some of you, lose your shit over your child not making an athletic team, or being bullied, or for an adult just chastising them, so in what warped world, is it okay for this grown man to drag someone else's daughter?

I asked you to think about what you see with your eyes. My eyes show me a young girl sitting in a desk, not saying or doing anything, an officer violating her personal space and safety, who proceeds to grab her, hurl her and the desk to the floor, and then drags her across the very same floor. Now what makes this okay? Is it okay because she is black, and the officer is the equivalent of "massa" from slavery of old? Is it okay because you would do the same if given the opportunity? Is it okay because it is someone else's child and you just don't give a shit?

Would it change your mind to know that this officer has such a violent past with students that his nickname is Officer Slam? Would it change your mind if you knew that just two years ago, he slammed a veteran in the same manner? (Imagine that, you fought for your country, and to have your rights violated like this, by someone sworn to protect and serve, and everyone knows how much we love and respect our veterans right? Insert eyeroll here!). Would it change your mind to know that just a few months ago, this young girl lost her mother, is currently in foster care, and is at a brand new school, with few friends, and very little, if any, familial support? Probably not, because she is just another unruly black kid, who had to be put in her place right?

I am tired and weary from these types of stories. Yes, Ben Fields has been fired, but he will just get a job somewhere else and continue on with the same abuse and harassment. I want criminal charges, because let's face it, if you or I had assaulted someone with such anger and disregard for the law, we would be in a jail cell. Why should police, whose salaries our tax dollars pay, get special treatment when they abuse their authority and break the law?

Until next time.....

No Apologies: Living, Loving, and Letting Go

As you all know, next year is the big 40 for me! Out of the birthdays that I have had over my lifetime, this is the one that I least look forward to. There is something about 40 being old and the end of one's youth. However, rather than meeting the birthday with negativity and trepidation, I decided to write my memoir. I have had an interesting life, if I do say so myself. Coming up with a title was a difficult process and actually getting started was even harder, but I finally did tonight, or at least I wrote the prologue, which is the story of my first suicide attempt at age 14. I decided to share with you all, and will definitely keep you in the loop, as I begin this very formidable journey.

Prologue

            I was sprawled on my grandmother’s bathroom floor. About two hours earlier, I had taken my mother’s psychotropic medication, Lithium. I lost count after about forty. I just wanted to end things. I had an elaborate plan. I would write a suicide now, saying I was sorry, create a sad tale of woe to explain why this suicide attempt was necessary,  take enough pills to end my life, and hopefully die in my sleep.

            But my planned failed, and now I was on my grandmother’s bathroom floor, where just most moments before had emptied my stomach contents into our toilet. I can’t remember if I had cleaned the toilet or myself. The urgency and the violent vomiting, rendered me weak and disoriented. It took me more than a few moments to even figure out where I was. My head was spinning, throat parched, my pajamas wet and clammy from the profuse sweating. In that moment, all I could think about was my family. My grandmother had a heart condition, and had a pacemaker inserted three years before, and it would kill her to find me like this. My mother had  no patience for this kind of foolishness, so it would make her angry, and my sister was just seven at the time, so all that I would do if she found me, would be traumatize her. I had to get up!

            I gripped the side of the toilet, while I steadied one knee. Despite my weakened status and frail body, my legs had always been strong with big vibrant calves. Once I steadied myself on one leg, I was able to pull myself up and force myself upright. It was a very short walk to my bedroom, as it was the one closest to the bathroom.

           

            When I arrived back in my bedroom, I found that suicide note on my dresser next to my bed. My plan was that whoever found me could read the note and understand what had happened. I had already placed the pill bottle back inside the medicine cabinet, which was right outside my bedroom, which was right off from the kitchen. I immediately tore the note into pieces too small for it to be decipherable, placed it in the trashcan, and made the short walk back to my bedroom. My head was spinning, and I was weaker than I could ever remember being in my life. I collapsed on top of bed covers, and the world went black.

I Don't Give A Damn About Bill Cosby's or The Cosby Show's Legacies!

Ebony Magazine for their November cover issue, created a shocking image. It has an old cast photo of Bill Cosby and his television family, but the pictures is one, which mimics broken glass, which suggests that the Cosby Show legacy is destroyed.

The Black Respectability Police (You know that collective group of Negroes who make it their life's mission to tell other black people what to do constantly (rolls eyes) lost their collective minds. The Bill Cosby supporters were not too far behind.

I get it. You love the Cosby Show. I did too. I have been known to watch marathons of old reruns.
But while we were guffawing at Bill's corny jokes and pretending/wishing that he was our daddy, he was raping women.

For those of you who say what about all of the actors /actresses who received their big breaks into the entertainment sector from being on the Cosby Show? Guess what? He raped some of them too, and used his position and the promise to "further their careers, or stop them" to do so.

For those of you who say what about all of the HBCU's he helped with his donations? Guess what? He raped some of those women too (Google the story about the Temple employee, who he drugged by using his relationship with the university.).

For those of you who say what about the other actors/actresses who are missing royalty checks because most networks won't air the show anymore? Like his wife, Camille, Phylicia Rashad and Keishia Knight-Pulliam vilified his accusers and helped to open them up to unfair public scrutiny, so if they are hit in their pockets too, well, that is called Karma, and I will not shed any tears or lose any sleep.

For those of you who say support him because he is a black man. Let me remind you of Bill Cosby's, You Negroes Ain't Shit tour of 2004, where he ridiculed you for giving your kids ghetto names, told you that you couldn't speak English properly, to pull up your pants, while he was raping women (His huge civil case from 2005, was filed by a woman he raped in 2004, and the lone person who has sued him for his disgusting behavior). Yes, you read that correctly. While Bill Cosby was ridiculing the black community for their behavior, telling you how to make yourselves more socially acceptable, he was raping women.

So although the Cosby Show was a decent show, It is not the only show, and it is certainly not the most important issue for the black community. There are far greater issues on which to focus than a fictitious show' s legacy and a man who probably wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire.

What about your own personal legacies? That is what you should be more concerned about!

Until next time....

Get A Divorce People!

No, I am not advocating divorce. With the divorce rate at over 60%, I don't really think that there is any advocating to be done.The numbers speak for themselves.

The shocking and devastating situation with Lamar Odom this week really got me to thinking. I honestly thought that he and Khloe Kardashian were divorced. Honestly, I try to avoid anything Kardashian related, but I thought that since they both had moved on with other people, that they had ended things legally and officially,

This got me to thinking about a disturbing trend. I have countless friends, who have been separated numerous years, so long that they have moved on and are in serious relationships with other people. I am talking about serious to the point of pledging love and buying engagement rings and the like and still are very much married, at least legally, to someone else.

You do realize that as long as you are legally married to that individual, who probably hates your guts, they can make in and all important decisions if you God forbid, fall deathly ill or need life saving measures? This means in front of your mother, children, or people who actually love/like your monkey tail.

One thing that I know, if God forbid something should happen to me, I know and trust that my mother would make the right decisions on my behalf. It would be difficult, painful, even tragic, but I know that she loves me enough, knows me well enough, that should would make the right decision.

If you have moved on, if you are so in love with your current significant other, hate the other person's guts, then end it. No amount of money, disagreement, or any of those other trivial matters, which cause people to be "separated" for years, are worth allowing another individual, who doesn't even like you anymore, to have that amount of power over your life.

Because think about Lamar Odom. That person could be a Kardashian, or someone like them.

Until next time....

I Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now: Birthday Edition

I was born on this date, some 39 years ago, to a 17 year old high school senior, and to a 19 year old smooth talker, who decided that parenthood was not for him. I honestly don't know when he first saw me, but my first memory of him was at almost nine years old, on one hot summer day in 1985. I wouldn't see him again until 1995, as a second semester college freshman...but enough about him, as this is my day.

I grew up dirt poor in Sampson County with my maternal grandmother, who quit school in seventh grade to take care of her ailing father, and a mother who had barely finished high school due to my traumatic birth, and spending so much time out of school. Despite these overwhelming odds, they both stressed to me the importance of education, and I was able to not only attend college, I successfully obtained my degree, and returned two years later for a Master's.

In these first 39 years, I have been molested, attempted suicide twice, battled depression, lost my grandmother, loved and lost after nine years, and lost my best friend over 20 years about six years ago, financial ups and downs, and job changes. Through it all, I am reminded of the title of one of the late great Maya Angelou's books, "Wouldn't Take Nothing for my Journey Now."

Through so much pain, I have survived and now I am whole again. I will not be people pleasing anymore. I will not be fighting to keep people in my life who do not want to be there. I will learn to say no more. I will not hold grudges. I will speak my truth.

I am ready for the next 39 years, I vow to myself and to all those who know me, there will be a new me. My physical being hopefully will ebb and flow due to the natural aging process, but my mental, my spiritual, and my emotional will be new.

I hope that you are ready and if you are not, it was nice knowing you!

Until next time....

Vanessa Williams and How God Will Make Your Enemies Your Footstool

I can remember the moment in 1983 when Vanessa Williams was crowned as the first black Miss America. She was 20, and I was seven, and I didn't understand what all of the hoopla was about. I just knew she was pretty and had funny colored eyes, and that was enough for me.

I also remember months later seeing on the news that she had been stripped of her title. Years later when I was older, I learned that it was because she had soft porn pics in an adult magazine. Apparently, even though the pics were for a private photographer, who did not have permission to publish them elsewhere, and even though these were done long before her crowning as Miss America, there was the small snippet in her contract that read, that she endeavored not to bring shame or do anything to reflect badly upon the organization.

In other words, no matter how beautiful, capable, or accomplished she was, they didn't want her representing America, so she had to go.

Fast forward 32 years, and on the same stage were she received her crown, Ms. Williams was issued a public apology. In true class and  in dignified  fashion, Ms. Williams just shrugged it off, as if it was no big deal

In the years following what was supposed to be the biggest, most heartbreaking scandal of her life, she truly made lemons out of lemonade. She raised four wonderful female humans, found love, lost it, found love, lost, and found it again! She built a successful music and acting career.

The very people who did her wrong so many years ago, had to grovel to her, amid her success!

I am reminded of so many pitfalls in my own life where I have lost, been sabotaged, and unfairly treated, that sitting still, moving on, and letting God work, are the best things to do.

We can all take a page from Ms. Vanessa Williams' book. Let's just hope it doesn't take 32 years!

Until next time....

James Blake and His Come to Jesus Moment

If you have been following the news, the latest victim of America's out of control police, was former tennis star, James Blake. Mr. Blake was standing outside of NY hotel when he was tackled by NYPD because he resembled a suspect from an open investigation. The ironic thing is this "open case" was not a murder, robbery, stabbing, shooting, no, it was the white collar crime of identity theft.

I called this his "come to Jesus moment." In reality, I don't know Mr. Blake's religious affiliation,  nor do I care, and this doesn't have anything to do with Jesus. Sometimes new Negroes and black celebrities, which sometimes can be one in the same, need to be reminded that they are black.

You see every day when I am on social media, there is some "new black" (black folks who are so educated, have so much money, have a certain number of white friends, that they believe that they are white by association) or some low key racist white person (you know the ones who always quote MLK to quell black anger, try to tell black people who to vote for, love the Confederate flag, and who have a few token black friends, so they can't be racist (insert eyeroll), think they are being deep by quoting the latest crime statistics on black on black crime, or publishing memes of blacks at their worst, with sermon type commentary of how blacks need to do better, which we refer to as respectability politics. Respectability politics is the belief that if you speak correct English, do not have gold teeth, have dual degrees, drive a nice car, don't live in the hood, don't sag your pants, have a clean criminal record, etc.etc.etc. that you are somehow immune to white supremacy, racism, and you will be treated fairly by cops and those in position of authority, and if you are guilty of any of these grave sins and are murdered by cops or civilians alike, well, it is okay because black folks kill each other, so we should be more concerned about that.

So this is why although I hate that Mr. Blake had that experience, there is a small part of me that is glad that it happened. Close your mouth in disgust and shock! Sometimes it takes things like this happening to the so called "respectable Negroes" for people to pay attention to what I and others more distinguished than me have been trying to tell you'll for years. Our country has a serious problem with race! Electing President Obama twice did not cure it! Neither did it magically disappear after your ancestors murdered Dr. King (You can stop quoting him now!).

So the question now becomes, what are we going to do about it? Quoting Dr. King, electing a black president, having friends of other races, and posting "deep memes" haven't worked! Because I don't know about you, but I am tired of black mothers burying their children, and their murderers getting GoFundme fundraisers, media interviews, and book deals, as opposed to life in prison and/or a needle in their arms.

Until next time.....

What Most of You Got Wrong About Kim Davis

"And Jesus said unto them, "Render unto Caesar those things that are Caesar's and unto God those things that are God's, and they marvelled at him." Mark 12:17.

I guess in most Christians' haste to jump on a religious bandwagon, especially in their ever tiring crusade against gay people (rolls eyes), they just conveniently skipped over this scripture.

Let me explain to those of you, who are slow and so caught up in your righteous indignation. It means that you most follow both the laws of the land and God's laws. It did not say that you could pick or choose either. You must follow BOTH! I placed that in capital letters because some of you seem to forget that you haven't ascended to Heaven yet, and you are still a mere mortal bound by the laws of the land.

Most of you have jumped on the bandwagon of supporting Kim Davis, because that is the good Christian thing to do. She is a Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. If you had conducted research on her background, rather than jumping on a bandwagon, you would know this Bible thumping troll has been married three times herself. (Divorce is against God's law, except for adultery, FYI), she has an illegitimate child by a married man, and not only did she refuse to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, but she refused several heterosexual couples who did not meet her standards either...now how stupid do you feel for jumping on this bandwagon?

Kim Davis is an elected official, who has sworn an oath to not only uphold the Constitution, but local and state laws where she holds her position. She could have easily resigned. Government officials do it all of the time, usually amid scandal, but she actually had the opportunity to exit gracefully. But no, in drama queen and true troll fashion she had to refuse to obey the law, pretend to be religiously persecuted. So now we as a public have to be subjected to the Lifetime movie, the book deal, the media interviews, and all of the drama behind her pseudo religious crusade.

Let me tell you modern Christians something. God is bigger, more knowledgeable, richer, more powerful than you, so I don't think that he needs for you to fight his battles.

Let me tell you what he does need. For you to be a little less hypocritical. This means focus on the sins that you are committing rather than constantly thumping your chests and your Bible against your fellow man. Stop asking him for more stuff for your greedy selves. Instead pray for your fellow man who is less fortunate. Above all, represent him through your daily life through your 24/7 good deeds, and not only when folks are watching you.


Maybe then people will respect you more, your religious beliefs, and actually believe in the God, who you say that you represent!

Until next time.....

Dr. Dre: Your Apology Is Ill-Timed, Insincere, and 20 Years Too Late

One thing that I can't stand is apolo-lying. (Yes, I created my own word, and I can do that!). Apolo-lying, is when you apologize not because you mean it, but because the consequences for your actions are few greater than you thought that they would be, or when you are a celebrity, and you are receiving too much blow back from your corporate sponsors or your fan base, and you are worried about damaging your brand, or when you are a new Christian and you want to prove to people that you have actually changed and are trying to walk the straight and narrow with Jesus, after you left plenty of people, mistakes, and carnage in your wake (rolls eyes)!

These are some scenarios that come to mind when I hear about Dr. Dre's apology for his domestic violence incidents with women. Let's take two cases in particular, those of his brutal beating of music journalist,  Dee Barnes in 1991, and his child's mother, singing sensation, Miche'le'.

 In1990, Dee Barnes, who at the time was a music journalist, had completed an interview with Ice Cube from the group NWA, who by this point had disbanded amid an epic feud and were working on solo projects, In the interview, Ice Cube disparaged the other group members. The next year, Dr. Dre saw Dee Barnes at an album release party, and sought retribution. During this confrontation, Dr. Dre repeatedly through the right side of her body into a stairway, while slamming her head into the wall. He tried and failed to throw her down the stairway. She escaped into the women's restroom, where he followed her in, and continued the assault.He grabbed her by her hair and continued to punch her in the back of her head. Some 20 years later, she still has migraines, and is unable to find work in the entertainment field due to being blacklisted by him (She had secured a part in the 1990's film Set It Off, but because Dr. Dre was in it, he got the director F. Gary Gray, the same guy who is the director of Straight Out of Compton, to rescind the offer).

Here is Dr. Dre's response when pressed about it, right after the attack:  “People talk all this shit, but you know, somebody fuck with me, I’m gonna fuck with them. I just did it, you know. Ain’t nothing you can do now by talking about it. Besides, it ain’t no big thing – I just threw her through a door.”


Dee Barnes wasn't his only victim. There was his child's mother Miche'le'.She has gone on record to state that not only did Dr. Dre abuse her, but on occasion has broken her nose and her ribs.

So miss me with the ill-timed apology. He certainly hasn't had any remorse all these years, and one would infer that there wouldn't be any now, if there weren't a new album and a hit movie at stake. Dr. Dre has finally amassed a fortune and the title of being a billionaire, and he is not about to place any of that in jeopardy by pissing of his fan base, which is largely women. He has to come off, as the new and improved version of himself.

So I challenge Dr. Dre, if you are sincere about your apology, how about you pay Dee Barnes' medical bills that she has amassed because of your 1991 brutal attack! If you are sincere, why don't you use your industry connections to help her secure employment doing what she loves, since you blacklisted her all of those years ago! If you are sincere, why don't you donate some of your money to batter women's shelters. Finally, if you are sincere, do another movie, make it a biopic even, where you tell the whole story of your dirty dealings, not just the whitewashed Hollywood version.

Until you can do some or all of these things, nobody, certainly not your victims, is interested in your apolo-lying!


Until next time....

Sometimes You Have to Cry Stuff Out

Most of my blogs are about racial and social justice, and women's empowerment, but today it's about me. Why? Because it is my damn blog...if you want to choose the topics, create your own!

I am a natural stuffer, which in the psychology world means an individual who doesn't deal with issues head on, but stuffs them away. What happens is over time, you compartmentalize too much stuff, and don't deal with too much, and the next thing you know, you explode, kind of like that pot that you overfill and then it ends up spewing out, all over everything.

Years of residual grief, not feeling appreciated, going through some career stuff, and relationships ending, got the better of me. I had a good old ugly cry, and you know what? I feel refreshed! Crying is not weak, unmanly, or any of those societal things that you are taught. It is cleansing; it is life affirming, and it really puts your emotions in perspective. Which really shows progress and growth in my life, because in my teens and 20's, my go to would have been to attempt suicide, lash out, or have meaningless sex, so yay, for progress!

The epiphany that came to me, was knowing my worth! I grew up feeling neglected, cast aside, and unlovable, as a result, I allowed people into my life who took advantage of that need to be loved, appreciated, and affirmed. I have taken jobs, held on to jobs, friendships, relationships, out of the sheer need for affirmation.

This stops now! And if anyone reading this is going through something similar, say to yourself, "This stops now!"

Yes, there will be setbacks! Yes, you will relapse! But the key through it all, is knowing your worth, and learning the power of "No." One simple word, two letters, but it will change your life. It will keep you from being taken advantage of, it will keep you from doing those things that you really don't want to do, and it will save you a lifetime of bitterness when people take more from your life than they give.

Learn it, embrace, and overall, be good to you. I know that I will!

Until next time......

White Liberals and House Negroes: Please Stop Telling Black People What To Do

Black Lives Movement, is not a movement that is going anywhere! As long as our children are being gunned down in the streets, it is here to stay. Any political candidate, who wants a shot at the White House, regardless of party affiliation, is going to have to not only support, but totally embrace this movement and the key concerns that arise from it!

On yesterday, during the weekend of the one year anniversary of Mike Brown's murder, political hopeful, Bernie Sanders' campaign gathered in Seattle for a routine campaign speech. Thousands were gathered. However, his speech and the day's activities were interrupted by Black Lives Matter activists.

Bernie supporters booed, threatened the activists, even took to social media, creating fake accounts, to harass and even threatened to "pull" their support from the movement.

House negroes, (You know those black people who don't know they are black because they have a few white friends, a few letters behind their names, because of the neighborhood they live in, etc)  began attacking the activists as well.

And I say to both groups, have a collective row of seats!

Bernie is a political candidate, meaning he has to show and prove. I don't care if he did march with Dr. King 50 years ago...as the old Janet Jackson song states, "What has he done for us lately?" Since January 1st of this year, over 600 bodies have fallen in police related shootings. Six hundred families are mourning the loss of their loved ones, without any justice. Imagine how their lives have been "interrupted", so miss me with your fake concern over an interrupted campaign speech.

To my white friends, you are not an ally, if you use your privilege to try to make black people behave, or only speak when it is convenient for you. You are not an ally, if you are steadily reminding black people what you have done for them, years ago. You are not an ally, if you are steadily threatening black people regarding pulling your support when your feelings get hurt. Again, hundreds of years of oppression, genocide, and violence towards blacks, are greater than your temporary hurt feelings.

We also don't need a "white savior." Recognize your privilege, call out your racist relatives and friends, march with us, but this is a new day, and we can lead ourselves. We don't need saving! Also, you are actually doing Sen. Sanders more harm than good, because if his supporters act like this, people are less likely to support the actual candidate.

And to you house Negroes, who think that racism just magically died when Barack took office, or when Dr. King was assassinated, I pray that when you have your "come to Jesus" moment. You know that moment  that all black folks have,  when they have an experience to remind them that they are still black, that you are able to not only maintain your dignity, but your life as well. Because while you are concerned with being "respectable", accumulating more material things, and admonishing your fellow brothers and sisters, who you feel are beneath you, remember you get the opportunities that you had today, because your forefathers did the work and sacrificed, so it would be in your best interest to do the same for future generations.


Until next time....

Women: Let Jennifer Garner's Pain Be A Cautionary Tale For You

I was in the grocery store today, waiting to checkout with my groceries. Plastered across the various tabloids, and People Magazine, were stories of the recent breakup between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.

Let me just say, it is always sad to see any marriage breakup, and especially sad, when there are children involved. Their youngest is just three years old.

As with most breakups, details are emerging, and the latest is that the cause may be Ben's inappropriate relationship with the 28 year old nanny.

As I read the story, I saw a story that is not just a Hollywood saga, but one that has played out in regular life on a consistent basis, and as a male who loves, respects, and appreciates women, I had to share this with all of you.

Never, ever, invite another woman into your house to take care of your children! Do I need to repeat this? I know motherhood, having a career, being a wife, and doing countless other things that women do to keep a household running, can be daunting and overwhelming, but never allow another woman into your home.

I don't care if you have J-Lo's body, and are sexing your husband, every day, or several times a day, or how good you think your "hot box" is, no "hot box" is as good as "new" hot box. What I am saying is, that when we as men are getting older, want to feel young again, grow tired and bored, we will seek out a new conquests, so don't invite that kind of drama to your home.

Not I am not saying that women are responsible for their men cheating. But don't provide the tools by bringing in a hot, younger version of yourself.

People tell me I am mistrustful, but I also believe in being proactive and cautious.

I also subscribe to the Chris Rock school of thought when it comes to fidelity. Once during a standup routine, Chris Rock stated and I quote, "A man is only as faithful as his options." If he has options, don't expect fidelity. If he doesn't have them, well, you have yourself a faithful man.

Please accept this, not as women or men bashing...this is simply advice based upon observations and life experience.

Until next time....

Why There is No Forgiveness for Michael Brown's Killer

This week marks the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's murder. It was a murder! His killer walks free, and that tells you everything that you need to know about Amerikkka's justice system, or lack thereof.

The New Yorker had the bright idea to interview his murderer. Lesley McSpadden  and Michael Brown Sr, have suffered a tremendous tragedy. Mike Brown's other family members and friends are still in pain, but let's give more attention to the man who is the source of that pain.

I refuse to type or speak his name. He will always be referred to as Michael Brown's killer. Any other identity ceases to exist for me. I wish that I hadn't read the article, and I even question why I did in the first place. A part of me was hoping for some remorse, or at the very least some compassion for the horrible crime that he has committed.

But none of that came forward. He was arrogant, unrepentant, privileged, and racist. His mother was a con artist, who stole thousands, stole other people's identities, and used men as pawns to further her criminal lifestyle. Yet, Michael Brown's killer has the nerve to snub his nose at Michael Brown's family, and the very community that he served in Ferguson.

Instead of offering an apology or sympathy for a family whose lives he shattered, his response is, "he is trying to put this ordeal behind him." Remember this is the same man who referred to Mike Brown as an "it" and a "demon." So not only did he assassinate his body, he furthered the narrative than Michael Brown was less than human.

Before you approach me with that lame Christian rhetoric of forgiveness, let me remind you that even for God to forgive, you must be repentant, confess what you have done wrong, and be sorry, unless you and I are reading different Bibles.


As we head into the weekend on the heels of the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's death, let's honor both his memory and his legacy, by making sure that there are no more tragic deaths like Michael Brown's, and that since the court system did not punish his murderer, that we make sure that he never "polices" again, and is no longer allowed to profit, either monetarily or through constant self-promotion.

Until next time....

Cecil and Jericho: The Only Two Africans that People Care About

Animal rights activists, white people, and new blacks lost their collective shit when word spread that Minnesota dentist, Walter Palmer, killed the beloved lion, Cecil. Online petitions were developed to have his dental practice shutdown, and for him to be extradited back to Zimbabwe to face criminal charges. An internet hoax over the weekend, also stated that Jericho, Cecil's brother had also been killed. The faux outrage spread like wildfire over the internet. Although the story proved to be untrue, the rage was real!

My question is, where is the shock/outrage for the over 500 mothers who have lost their children since January 1 of this year to senseless gun violence. Q. Where is your concern? Where is your petitions, marching, tears, and empathy for these women? Did I mention that these over 500 people dead, are also black? I guess that changes the conversation and the outrage.

The continent of Africa (Yes, Raven Simone it is a continent with over 54 countries FYI), has one of the largest populations dying from HIV/AIDS, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.

Thousands of African children die each year due to poverty, disease, malnutrition and host of other issues, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.

Thousands of African women are enslaved and are the victims of female genital mutilation, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.

So I guess the only way black lives will truly matter, is if we become lions, or at the very least put on lion costumes!

Until next time....

Hey NY Times: Your Hoods Are Showing!

The New York Times has a real problem with black people. It all started in August of 2014, during the murder of Mike Brown. They did a huge story on Mike Brown's life, which appeared in their Sunday paper, the day before his funeral. In this article, in their attempt to "humanize" him, they further vilified him by referring to him as "no angel", which inferred that whatever he had done during his life was somehow justification for his death. No compassion, no empathy, and no thought of his parents' grief and the black community's grief of his senseless and violent death.

Less than a month later, in their attempt to cover the meteoric rise of actress, Viola Davis, and her success in headlining her hit television show, How to Get Away With Murder, they remarked that she wasn't "classically beautiful." What does that mean? Well, I have a few ideas! To me, it means that because she is dark skin, has full lips, isn't anorexic, and doesn't appeal to the European standards of beauty, well she isn't classically beautiful.

I think their latest slight is probably the most outrageous. As we all are aware, Serena Williams is the best to ever do it in her sport, tennis. Twenty-one championships, six grand slams, and the most victories of any woman in her field. Instead of focusing on her extreme athleticism, her grace on the tennis court, and her overall good, scandal free character, they printed an article focusing on her masculine her body was, and why her opponents did not want their bodies to look like hers. They implied that due to her muscular frame, that she was less of a woman. We all can read, and I am sure that if her skin was of a lighter hue, their commentary would have been more flattering.

Their timing is impeccable though. This headline and story came on yesterday, the day that the Confederate flag came down in South Carolina. Although its supporters say that it represents heritage and history, it was placed in that space as a direct, and retaliatory response to the Civil Rights Movement. It is ironic that on the day that it finally comes down, that the New York Times, decides to be on the wrong side of history and to print such an inflammatory article.

In living in this black skin in Amerikkka, there is always one step forward toward progress, and two backward toward protecting white privilege and supremacy, and our mainstream media has the patent on keeping it going.

Most people want to blame Fox News, but there are plenty of other online, radio, television, and print mediums with their coded language.

So New York Times, the black community sees your racist tendencies. Maybe as an olive branch, either you can hire more black journalists, take some racial sensitivity training, and print retractions when you make these blaring and offensive errors. That is, if black lives matter to you!


Until next time.....

It's Time to Eat Some Humble Pie!

When the allegations first came to light regarding Bill Cosby, folks lost their collective minds. How dare folks accuse America's favorite tv dad of raping women. He can get any woman he wants! (Like rape has ever been about getting women or sex!). You called the women golddiggers (At this time, only one has received monetary compensation, and only after she brought a 2005 civil suit against him, after a 2004 attack).

Over 47 women have come forward and still, you'll caped for him, acted just like he was your granddaddy, uncle, or someone you knew personally. The majority of the women were white, and there was no way a black man would get away with raping a white woman in 1960 America at the height of the Civil Rights Movement (insert eyeroll here).

When black victims starting coming to light, you still didn't believe it. Even though Bill Cosby hasn't done anything for the black community in ages. He tried to shame you into submission during his 2004 campaign of "pull up your pants and speak correct English" (Ironically, this is the same year that he raped his last known victim).

In fact, it was this moralizing campaign that prompted a judge to unseal the contents of the 2005 civil trial. Ironic isn't? Bill was telling us how to live, while raping women, and this moralizing is what is now the cause of his downfall.

Jill Scott was a true person of character as she took to her Twitter, and publicly apologized for supporting Cosby in his lewd behavior. I want to see apologies from Camille Cosby, Phylicia Rasha, Malcolm Jamal Warner, Keisha Knight Pulliam, and comedian, Faizon Love. Each took to social media and regular media and publicly ridiculed and slut shamed the women who they felt were out to destroy Cosby's legacy.

Some of the rest of you regular every day folks did the same. Where are your apologies with these latest revelations? Will you be as aggressive with your apologies, as you were your support of Cosby and in slut shaming these women? I think that I know my answer to this question!

If this Cosby saga teaches us anything, is that we hero worship people too much. Black folks look for heroes in the most undeserving areas, men don't really care about the very women who support, open their legs to, and take care of, and the need to be right is more important than humility.


Until next time....

Bristol Palin: Hypocrite or Decision Maker?

Let me preface what I am about to write with, I despite everything Palin. They are rude, lewd, and crude, so this blog post is not an "I Support the Palins campaign." But I do support a woman's choice to make reproductive decisions without shame and slander.

Bristol Palin has taken heat recently because she made the choice to have her second out of wedlock child. Now she embarked on an abstinence tour, where she was paid 250K per appearance. Let me just say she was wrong for using her bigoted platform to shame other young people into making a decision about their sex lives, while she was have sex herself. Just as she made the choice to make her own reproductive and sexual choices, she should have afforded the same opportunity for decision making to other young people.

But the slander and ridicule that she is receiving for making a decision to have a child, is dead wrong. Christian Conservatives are blasting her, so are other women, in fact they are probably the most vicious.

We are society that likes to see people fall from grace. Hey, I have to admit that I do too when they are especially pompous and self-righteous (ie. Josh Duggar), but what I don't like to see our women being shamed about their sexual and reproductive choices. Are we going to place Bristol's baby daddy under that same microscope of scorn and shame? If not, we need to leave her alone as well.

Is she a hypocrite? Most certainly for shaming other young people to abstain from sex when she wasn't. But her choosing to have a child is not only personal, but should not be the subject of internet fodder.

Until next time....

Black Churches Are Burning, But Whatever!

There have been eight church fires in the two weeks since the Charleston massacre, but there has been radio silence in mainstream media. In fact, the only reason why we know anything is due to the diligence of activists via Twitter.

When the Quiktrip burned in Ferguson after Mike Brown's murder, or when CVS burned in Baltimore after Freddie Gray's murder, many of you flocked to social media to express your outrage. How dare those black savages destroy property. which was the response every low key racist, who is not really a racist because they have black friends or employ black people (insert eyeroll here). Even new blacks (those black people who don't really think that they are black, or black when it is convenient) had scorn for the blacks who made the race "look bad." Mainstream media circled like vultures. They filmed as the buildings burning in the background, and salivated at the ratings opportunity that was afforded to their respective networks, but I haven't heard a peep from any of these groups about the eight black church fires.

Even the federal government is trying to duck and cover. Oh yes, they have already blamed three on either faulty wiring and/or acts of God (Now mind you, many of these churches are hundreds of years old, and have survived up until this point, so I am sure their wiring is fine, and I honestly don't believe God would destroy his own house, but that's just my warped sense of thinking).

It is quite interesting that these fires started happening just as there was a national push and outcry to ban the Confederate flag, but I am sure this has nothing to do with that right? If you believe that, I have a bridge in New Jersey to sell you (unobstructed by Chris Christie of course).

Even prominent church pastors are silent. Donnie McClurkin and T.D. Jakes did not shy away from giving their thoughts on gay marriage, but radio silence on white supremacists burning the house of the Lord I guess is perfectly fine in their eyes. Creflo Dollar can beg via social media for his $65 million dollar jet, but I haven't heard a peep from him, about the very foundation that provides for his pimp, I mean pastoral lifestyle!

One thing is for certain, the nation is getting a front row seat to what happens when white supremacy and privilege are challenged. I think we know how this story will end!


Until next time....

NBC: You Are A Day Late, and A Dollar Short!

Most are beaming with glee, after Donald Trump was released from his partnership with NBC in terms of his Miss USA Pageant shows and The Celebrity Apprentice. Folks tweeted, and posted on Facebook, their joy, after Trump (which is true to form) made racially insensitive comments toward Latinos and immigration.

But my question is, why now? What is the back story? What or how much did Trump cost NBC for them to make this decision? I say that NBC is a day late, and a dollar short.

Just look at Donald Trump's Twitter feed. He is always saying something racist or sexist. In fact, Trump is the prime leader who started the "Birther" Movement. You know those hacks, who insisted that President Obama was not born in this country, and wanted to see the long form version of his birth certificate (I still to this day, am wondering what a long form birth certificate is, seeing as how I have seen the original and copies of mine, and the information is the same, but okay!).

He is made much of his fortune exploiting African Americans on that cesspool of a show, The Celebrity Apprentice. Remember, the more we argued, fought, and cursed each other out, the higher his ratings were, the more money he took to the bank, and he absolved himself by donating in the name of the winner's favorite charity (insert eyeroll here).

All the while, sometimes while the show was airing and he was exploiting us, saying vile and disgusting things about President Obama, which only a card carrying member of the Klu Klux Klan would utter.

Remember, we have been here before people...can you say Donald Sterling? The Clippers knew for years about his poor treatment of players, his racist remarks, but not until his mistress caught him in a recording for the world to hear, and sponsors started dropping like flies, did the Clippers take action.

So the question for me is, what is NBC's end game? Is this to boost their network ratings, by appearing to take a stand on racist behavior? Did sponsors threaten to pull out? Something occurred that the general public is not privy to, because Donald Trump has been racist, and we have over six years worth of tweets and screenshots to prove it!


Until next time....

It's Just A Flag, Until It's Not

I remember the first time that I was called a nigger. It was third grade and by a classmate (who shall remain nameless), because I had angered him. I didn't even understand what the word meant. We didn't use that type of language in my household, but I went home and told my grandmother, and I received an early education into racism, and its products.

I have been watching the debates over the Confederate flag and just shaking my head at how clueless we have become when it comes to the feelings of our fellow man, and how we want to wave a magic wand and make racism go away.

Is the Confederate flag racist, or is it just a flag? Well, the Confederate flag was the official flag of the Confederacy, which wanted to secede from the Union. They wanted to protect states' rights. These rights were the right to own slaves. Slaves were property, and a source of free labor. Having to pay people for labor, cut into their overall profit margins, and good old Southerners were not having that.

President Lincoln, or the "great emancipator" as he is called, wanted to keep his union in tact. He used slavery as a bargaining chip. Freeing slaves was never about humanity or loving black people, it was about crippling the Confederacy financially, so they would have no other choice but to rejoin the union. The Confederacy of course that it was their God given right to own slaves, so of course they fought back, hence the Civil War.

If you are not convinced yet, of the Confederate flag and its racist origins, then why does the KKK, Dylan Roof, and every major hate group use it as its flag of record?

When individuals scream "heritage", this heritage is one built upon slavery and the oppression of black people. If you are okay with that, this is a matter between you, and your God.

If you want to place it on your car, your home, buy Confederate memorabilia, I say be proud in your racist ideologies.

But this flag has no place in government spaces, ie, the capitol building in Columbia, S.C. One of the most heartbreaking things for me as an American citizen, is to know that Rev. Pinkney's body had roll past that disgusting flag, during his funeral service,

Did you know that the flag was placed in the S. C. capitol building in 1962, as a direct response to the rise of the  Civil Rights Movement? But it's not racist right?

I prefer people who are honest about race, so if the Confederate flag is part of your heritage as you claim, this tells me everything that I need to know about you, and how you feel about me as a black man, and a fellow citizen of this country.

Until next time....

What Charleston Teaches Us About White Privilege

I remember attending prayer service on Wednesday nights with my late grandmother. She always referred to it as "prayer meeting." And sure enough, there were quite a few fervent prayers, singing, scripture, and some powerful testimonies. In other words, it was a condensed version of Sunday service.

In addition to being a condensed version of the Sunday service, prayer meeting also had a condensed crowd, usually comprised of church officials (pastor, deacons, mothers), the unemployed and retirees (because they held service so long (forgive me Jesus!), and those who just wanted a midweek spiritual pick me up!

Imagine my shock and horror, when I found out via Twitter (Because mainstream media is not worth a damn in delivering news) about the tragedy in Charleston, SC, where Dylan Storm Roof opened fire on a group of attendees (this is after he worshiped with them for an hour), killing nine.

This case as brutal and horrific as it is, it teaches us everything about white privilege and the state of race relations in this country (Go ahead and stop reading now, roll your eyes for good measure, label me a racist, feel better?). Now read on, so you can become educated on this very real thing, called "white privilege."

White privilege is before you are even positively identified, the media falls over themselves trying to diagnose your psychosis, and talk about how quiet and sweet you were as a young child (Remember Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown were horrible students and thugs from minute one, after their deaths, even though they were the victims).

White privilege is the police arresting you (while you are armed), but not before supplying you with a bulletproof vest and no handcuffs). This man viciously murdered nine people, is armed, and still police fall over themselves to protect him (ie, the bulletproof vest). I still don't know why he wasn't handcuffed.

White privilege is being arrested for drug possession in March, and your parents purchasing a gun for you in April (This is what Dylan's parents did for him).

White privilege is brutally murdering nine people, and the media refusing to label you as a "terrorist". Remember the Boston Marathon bombers murdered less, and they were labeled as terrorists.

White privilege is alluding the police for over 12 hours after you have brutally murdered nine people. (You can't tell me that in over 12 hours and after crossing over another state, that the florist is the only person who recognized him!) He is a scrawny white boy with a Beatles' era haircut. I don't run across many of those on a daily basis!

White privilege is your roommate knowing about your plans for your alleged crime for over six months, and not only wanting to be roommates with you, but deciding to keep quiet, and remains free at the same time. (Name one black person who can have knowledge of a crime, the media reports this knowledge, and that individual is walking around free....I rest my case).

White privilege is being a mass murderer and nobody blaming your parents or questioning their parental abilities (even though they bought you the gun used in the crime). Remember people have said all kinds of hateful and disgusting things about Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown's mothers!

White privilege is brandishing a real gun, and cops take you alive. (Tamir Rice was playing with a toy gun, and murdered in just two seconds).

White privilege is having the Confederate flag hanging on all of your government buildings in 2015. This is the case in our neighboring state of South Carolina, and nobody questions it.

Still believe white privilege is imagined? I have just given you several concrete, factual examples that it does indeed exist.

The question now becomes, what are we going to do about it?


Until next time.....

Enabling Josh Duggar

A few weeks ago, reports surfaced that Josh Duggar, the eldest of the Duggar brood, had molested a total of five girls (four of which were his sisters and the other a close family friend who he had access to while she was staying with his family). The behavior began when Josh was 14, and one of his victims was as young as five.

TLC, after much public outcry and advertisers dropping like flies, decided to cancel his family's reality show. His parents decided to do damage control with an awkward and maddening interview with Fox's Megyn Kelly, and two his sisters, who were also two of his victims, gave an interview to People Magazine where they defended their brother and claimed the media had victimized them more than their brother ever had.

But notice who is visibly silent through this whole ordeal? The perp himself, Josh Duggar! My question is, why the silence? The statute of limitations has expired. Civil litigation is highly unlikely given than 80% of his victims (at least the ones that we know about) are family members, God has forgiven him (according to his religious nutjob parents), his wife knew for a full two years before marrying him, and is now pregnant with his fourth seed, so why the silence Josh?

The why is because Josh Duggar represents an ever growing and steadfast patriarchy and privilege. Males in this country get away with countless crimes against women and girls, and we just minimize their behavior to "boys will be boys" or we slut shame their victims asking ridiculous questions about what the "victims" did to make them hurt or abuse them.

His parents minimized his behavior. The sheriff who his parents turned him in to was convicted of being in the possession of kiddie porn. His sisters, his victims, apologize for him and minimize his behavior, and his wife co-signed when she married and had children by him. Everyone in his inner circle is either rationalizing, excusing, or protecting him.

Even politicians like Sarah Palin, are turning their angst on celebrities rather than dealing with Josh. Religious zealots are preaching forgiveness and casting stones. Um, newsflash, I guess you'll missed that part in the Bible, which teaches even God only forgives with a confession and a repentant heart.

I have seen neither from Josh Duggar, and I doubt that I will.

Even when confronted with the ugliness of his deeds, his parents sent him to do manual labor. I did the same as 16 for money, and I didn't do anything close to what Josh has done!

The saddest thing in all of this: his victims are left to deal with the aftermath of this alone, while a society which is supposed to protect them, spins and lies to protect their assailant.

Another sad component of this saga, is Josh hasn't been punished or treated, so it is my belief that he is not done with this abhorrent behavior.

For those who enable Josh, you have my disdain! Let's hope there is some kind of justice for his victims, both the known and the unknown.

Until next time....

Why Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner is Not Your Business

In today's society, celebrity status is synonymous with ownership, or at least it is the minds of narcissistic individuals who worship them.

When Bruce Jenner was an Olympic gold medalist and was someone who men could worship as a great athlete, or who women could lust after as a good looking man, he was on top of the world, and was everyone's hero.

Now that he has made a very private decision to live HIS truth, he has fallen from grace (not in the traditional sense) but the grace of public opinions who do not agree with HIS  personal decisions.

And before you start spouting Bible verses, offering up how disgusted you are, how much you admire him, how beautiful he is, and the list goes on, let me pose a few questions to you:

How much of Bruce's transformation into Caitlyn, affected your personal finances?

How many of you are related to Bruce/Caitlyn?

And if you are pursuing the religious agenda, what does Bruce's transformation, have to do with your soul or personal relationship with Christ?

If the answer to any of these is nothing or none, it means that it is none of your business.

We have an opinion about a myriad of things, doesn't make them our business, doesn't mean that we have all of the facts, nor does it mean we are well versed in what we are speaking about anyway.

Why? Because Americans love exercising their First Amendment rights, well, that is until we become the subject of or have to deal with the consequences of exercising those rights.

The interesting thing is I see Christians posting all types of think pieces and blog posts, which further their religious agendas, but are visibly silent about Josh Duggar molesting his sisters and other victims.

All I hear in regards to Josh Duggar are "forgiveness" and "mistakes". He impacted children's lives, and not just any children, children who were related to him, broke the law, but you are quick to forgive, but not an individual who made a personal decision, which did not affect anyone? This is the God you serve? Well, I don't want any parts of that God!

Then I saw black people, one of the most  marginalized and discriminated against populations of people, posting memes from white supremacists ridiculing Bruce/Caitlyn,  individuals, who would not spit on you, if you were on fire, but as long as another group is being discriminated against or ridiculed, it is okay? In what parallel universe?

Ask yourself, is what I am doing, or saying helping my fellow man/woman? If not, you might want to keep it to yourself!

Until next time.....

Sherri Shepherd: Ladies, Let's Not Be Hypocrites

I will support women on all issues until the day that I die. My mother is a woman, I have friends who are women. My sister is a woman, so I am sensitive to your plight.

But I am also a realist and very opinionated, and not afraid to call people out on their bullshit, and women, your attitudes and reactions toward the Sherri Shepherd situation, are complete and utter bullshit.

I am a product of the child support system, meaning that my father had to be legally made to financially take care of me. This is nothing new under the sun.

I have also been privy to the conversations of countless female friends and relatives lament about deadbeat dads, and their own child support woes.

But these same women are visibly silent about Sherri Shepherd. Some are even offering support and prayers. Why?

Sherri Shepherd a grown ass 45 year old woman claims that her husband, Lamar Sally "tricked" her into signing a legally binding surrogacy agreement.

Now that the child is here, and her marriage is toast, she wants to cry foul.

A judge earlier this week, deemed the surrogacy agreement legally valid, and ordered that Sherri Shepherd be recognized as the legal mother of the child.

Let's get back to the idea of Sherri being "tricked". How does a 45 year old get tricked? She is not mentally incompetent, and this is not her first rodeo in relationships, as Sally is her second husband.

But yet she created a "woe is me" story, and women, you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker!

The truth is, she was desperate! She fed into society's bull about there being no good men, and she was thirsty for a husband, and didn't do her vetting.

Now when she finds that her husband was a male gold digger and didn't want to work, she cries foul, and you fellow females are feeding into this.

The greater truth is, that she is no better than the deadbeat dads already in the system. Yes, her gender is different, and she has celebrity status, and more money, but the story is the same.

So ladies, how long before you give your sister girl the truth? How many of you, are going to be yes, women, and not speak the unadulterated truth to her? Somebody needs to, because at the end of the day, an innocent child is caught in the middle, a child who did not ask to be born, and who deserves to be loved and cared for.


Until next time.....

Why I Am Not Here for Hillary Clinton But Will Vote For Her Anyway

It has been eight days since Hillary Clinton announced her campaign for the 2016 presidency, and I am about as excited as am about getting a root canal from the dentist.

I was hoping Obama could run for a third term or maybe even her husband Bill, but our Constitution does not allow for that.

Or maybe Elizabeth Warren, or Cory Booker, or maybe one of the Castro brothers....anyone but Hillary!

No, it has nothing to do with her gender or her race. For me, it is about that candidate, who can represent my interests!

I remember back in 1992, when her husband Bill, ran for his first term in office. I was 16 at the time, and I saw him playing his saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show. Even though that was impressive, what impressed me more was his backstory. Here was a self-mad man, who grew up in a single parent home, with a hard working, working class mother. Here was a man, who despite his skin color and Ivy League education, could identify with me and most every average American. There was no silver spoon here. His mother raised him in abject poverty, and the only way he was able to attend college was because of his academic prowess  and scholarship, not because of his last name or his privilege.

There was another man who about 16 years later,who would inspire me just as much. He just happened to share the same skin tone, but his background was very similar to Bill Clinton's. He grew up in abject poverty, raised by a single mother, and only attended Ivy League schools because of academic prowess and scholarships. His name was Barack Obama.

Needless to say, I am not excited about 2016. A bunch of privileged candidates who will pander to the corporate types, while the middle class and working class people like myself are consistently screwed over. While black bodies constantly drop in the streets (319 since January 1, 2015), and while government squeezes more tax dollars out of the middle class, while this population gets smaller every month.

I need someone who can connect with me, the average citizen, like Barack and Bill did long ago. So since none of the other Democratic hopefuls have stepped up, and every Republican candidate is batshit crazy and out of touch, and determined to set us back about 150 years, Hillary is the best and only option.

So while I am not excited about voting for her, she is the better than the other guy, and since not voting is not an option, she will begrudgingly receive my vote.

I just need for Hillary to be more inviting, more in touch with the average citizen. I need her to be more like Bill, minus the blowjobs and philandering of course!


Until next time....

Raven Symone: Black Folks You'll Go Get Your Cousin!

Every since slavery blacks have had several discussions on how to self-identify. Some of these self-identifications were a result of overt racism (nigger, coloreds, spooks, Sambos,) and others because some wanted to stay true to our African roots (African American) and not be labeled as a simple color (black).

So I didn't really take offense when Raven Symone during a very candid interview with Oprah last year, said that she wanted to be labeled as simply, "American.""...Whatever, tomato/tomata..who cares?

But of course Ms. Symone did not stop there. In a recent interview, she defended a Univision employee who lost his job for stating  that First Lady Michelle Obama resembled a monkey. Ms. Symone said some people did indeed look like zoo animals (I am sure she wasn't referring to the FLOTUS of course...Insert eyeroll here)!

But no she doesn't stop there. In another recent interview, she states that she is from every continent in Africa...wait what? Last I checked, Africa was one continent, made up of 54 countries and two provinces. Oh by the way, in that same interview with Oprah, she said she was not from Africa, neither were her descendants, which is why she took such offense to being labeled as African American...wait what?..but okay Ms. Raven!


So after all these offenses, black people can you'll come get your cousin?

Raven is proof of what happens when we folks have too much time and money on their hands.

You see nobody is checking for Raven. She has aged out of Disney productions (She is coming up on 30 in December). She is about 20 years too late to play the cutesy little girl role that she did on the Cosby Show.

And with plenty of time, and money, and no formal education (No, you don't need a college degree to be formally educated, but she could at least read a book or two every now and again), we get these idiotic statements.

The dangerous thing is some little girl is idolizing her, and the yes men and women of Hollywood will not tell her the truth.

The truth that it is a dangerous game when you try to separate yourself  from your people and your history.

Maybe, Ms. Symone needs to make a prison visit to OJ, and ask how that worked for him!

Until next time.....

To Vaccinate or Not Vaccinate? Not Even a Question But A Matter of Personal Choice

I don't have a dog in this fight. I don't have children! It is not really an important issue for me, but this is just my commentary as a casual observer.

For politicians it becomes a partisan issue. For Democrats, they get to be the heroes for the bleeding heart Liberals, who will champion a cause  out of the most mundane issues. For Republicans, it gives them a chance to pander to the grossly stupid and misinformed, and to give the false pretense that they support smaller government (rolls eyes).

For mothers, it is just another way for them to snub each other. You know the type. I am the best mother because I vaccinate my children, and you are horrible because you don't (rolls eyes again).

For men, it is just another way for us to exert our authority, in this very patriarchal driven society.

The truth is like abortion and many other personal issues, it should be a matter of choice.

For those of you who have children, it is your responsibility as a parent to decide what is best for your children! End of story! No discussion or commentary necessary!

For those who choose to vaccinate, they have decided that it is best, based upon their research and concern for the overall health and safety of their children.

For those who choose not to vaccinate, some believe that it leads to autism, and yet, there are some of who don't because of religious reasons.

Again, it is about individual choice!

I am not a fan of government (Republican or Democrat) getting involved in personal choice issues. Abortion is a personal choice. Vaccinating your children is a personal choice.

In closing, worry about the little mofos left to your charge, and let others worry about their little mofos, because from what I seen as a casual observer, vaccinations are the least of your problems!


Until next time.....

Why Black Folks are Mad Over the Selma Oscar Snub

It is amazing in the year 2015, that racism has to be explained to anyone over the age of 12, but privilege allows some to pick and choose what they care about.

There are those who say, there were more talented films than Selma. There are those who say there are far more important issues in the black community. There are those who say that we should not let awards define us. There are those who say, we gave you'll equal rights, what more do you want? There are those who say it was what we expected, so why be mad?

My answer to all of these questions and to these different groups, is this.

Black actors never get the opportunities like their white counterparts. I remember reading how Viola Davis who has a career that began in her teens used take to three buses each way to attend classes at Julliard when she was 14 years old, and here some 30 plus years later, she is just receiving recognition in terms of good quality roles, still being snubbed for awards, and still does not make the dollars for her roles as her white counterparts. Top white actors get at least 3-4 huge movie roles a year and make almost 20 million a film for those roles. How many black actors can say the same, maybe Denzel and Will, but that is two out of how many thousand?

Black actors never get recognition for roles outside of slaves (Lupita, Denzel Washington), maids (Octavia Spencer, Hattie McDaniel), rogue/thug cops (Denzel Washington), or bad mothers (Halle Berry, Monique). Roles which portray us as less than, servants, or in a derogatory light are the roles in which we are given awards. Yes, there are exceptions to this, but these types of roles outweigh the good ones. Are these roles bad? No, but blacks portray so many different roles for which we have either been snubbed or totally ignored altogether.

Selma involves a historical event, which occurred 50 years ago, and still the fight continues. If you don't believe me, look at Ferguson, Missouri. The marches that have occurred since Michael Brown's murder, which to this day, his murderer walks free enjoying the same liberties as you and me. So the timeliness of this film, the brilliant acting, more than qualify it for more than two Oscar nominations.
Again, there are those who say that other films got snubbed. There are only a certain number of slots. The excuses rain down like manna from heaven, because it is easier to offer excuses for this continual slight, than it is to change the system. I laughed when people told me this wasn't worth marching or organizing over, but remember 50 years ago in Selma, this is what Dr. King (you know that nonviolent black leader who racist whites like to quote to get black people to calm down, or who black intellectuals like to quote to make us get in line and make the entire race look good), just to secure voting rights for those Selma citizens and for many in the South who were being denied, although the Constitution said that they could! Let's think for a moment, would Dr. King, simply let the continual snubbing of the Academy, go? If you think he would, I urge you to do some research outside of what your limited public school education taught you. Read, Letter from a Birmingham Jail or some of his more prolific speeches, you get a more accurate view of the man behind them, and why he didn't even live to see his 40th birthday. Or why the FBI was wire tapping his phones and hotel rooms.

So is the Oscar snub important in the grand scheme of things? Maybe, maybe not depending on your perspective. But today it is an Oscar snub. Tomorrow is one of our children getting gun down in the streets Or getting profiled in a grocery store. Or being passed over for a job, even though our education and credentials make us overqualified. The thing is this black skin makes us a constant target. We don't get to be comfortable, and those of us who say that we are, are in denial.

If you can't see this. If you get to pick and choose what upsets you, what you march for, and try to tell others what they can and can not march for, then you are privileged. Privileged to live in a skin that affords you the opportunity to not care about Oscar snubs, to say that others are more talented, to walk in public unscathed, unprofiled and to secure employment solely on your credentials. Don't cry, apologize, or get mad about it, embrace it. If I had it, trust me, I would!

Until next time.....