I was born on this date, some 39 years ago, to a 17 year old high school senior, and to a 19 year old smooth talker, who decided that parenthood was not for him. I honestly don't know when he first saw me, but my first memory of him was at almost nine years old, on one hot summer day in 1985. I wouldn't see him again until 1995, as a second semester college freshman...but enough about him, as this is my day.
I grew up dirt poor in Sampson County with my maternal grandmother, who quit school in seventh grade to take care of her ailing father, and a mother who had barely finished high school due to my traumatic birth, and spending so much time out of school. Despite these overwhelming odds, they both stressed to me the importance of education, and I was able to not only attend college, I successfully obtained my degree, and returned two years later for a Master's.
In these first 39 years, I have been molested, attempted suicide twice, battled depression, lost my grandmother, loved and lost after nine years, and lost my best friend over 20 years about six years ago, financial ups and downs, and job changes. Through it all, I am reminded of the title of one of the late great Maya Angelou's books, "Wouldn't Take Nothing for my Journey Now."
Through so much pain, I have survived and now I am whole again. I will not be people pleasing anymore. I will not be fighting to keep people in my life who do not want to be there. I will learn to say no more. I will not hold grudges. I will speak my truth.
I am ready for the next 39 years, I vow to myself and to all those who know me, there will be a new me. My physical being hopefully will ebb and flow due to the natural aging process, but my mental, my spiritual, and my emotional will be new.
I hope that you are ready and if you are not, it was nice knowing you!
Until next time....
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
Vanessa Williams and How God Will Make Your Enemies Your Footstool
I can remember the moment in 1983 when Vanessa Williams was crowned as the first black Miss America. She was 20, and I was seven, and I didn't understand what all of the hoopla was about. I just knew she was pretty and had funny colored eyes, and that was enough for me.
I also remember months later seeing on the news that she had been stripped of her title. Years later when I was older, I learned that it was because she had soft porn pics in an adult magazine. Apparently, even though the pics were for a private photographer, who did not have permission to publish them elsewhere, and even though these were done long before her crowning as Miss America, there was the small snippet in her contract that read, that she endeavored not to bring shame or do anything to reflect badly upon the organization.
In other words, no matter how beautiful, capable, or accomplished she was, they didn't want her representing America, so she had to go.
Fast forward 32 years, and on the same stage were she received her crown, Ms. Williams was issued a public apology. In true class and in dignified fashion, Ms. Williams just shrugged it off, as if it was no big deal
In the years following what was supposed to be the biggest, most heartbreaking scandal of her life, she truly made lemons out of lemonade. She raised four wonderful female humans, found love, lost it, found love, lost, and found it again! She built a successful music and acting career.
The very people who did her wrong so many years ago, had to grovel to her, amid her success!
I am reminded of so many pitfalls in my own life where I have lost, been sabotaged, and unfairly treated, that sitting still, moving on, and letting God work, are the best things to do.
We can all take a page from Ms. Vanessa Williams' book. Let's just hope it doesn't take 32 years!
Until next time....
I also remember months later seeing on the news that she had been stripped of her title. Years later when I was older, I learned that it was because she had soft porn pics in an adult magazine. Apparently, even though the pics were for a private photographer, who did not have permission to publish them elsewhere, and even though these were done long before her crowning as Miss America, there was the small snippet in her contract that read, that she endeavored not to bring shame or do anything to reflect badly upon the organization.
In other words, no matter how beautiful, capable, or accomplished she was, they didn't want her representing America, so she had to go.
Fast forward 32 years, and on the same stage were she received her crown, Ms. Williams was issued a public apology. In true class and in dignified fashion, Ms. Williams just shrugged it off, as if it was no big deal
In the years following what was supposed to be the biggest, most heartbreaking scandal of her life, she truly made lemons out of lemonade. She raised four wonderful female humans, found love, lost it, found love, lost, and found it again! She built a successful music and acting career.
The very people who did her wrong so many years ago, had to grovel to her, amid her success!
I am reminded of so many pitfalls in my own life where I have lost, been sabotaged, and unfairly treated, that sitting still, moving on, and letting God work, are the best things to do.
We can all take a page from Ms. Vanessa Williams' book. Let's just hope it doesn't take 32 years!
Until next time....
Thursday, September 10, 2015
James Blake and His Come to Jesus Moment
If you have been following the news, the latest victim of America's out of control police, was former tennis star, James Blake. Mr. Blake was standing outside of NY hotel when he was tackled by NYPD because he resembled a suspect from an open investigation. The ironic thing is this "open case" was not a murder, robbery, stabbing, shooting, no, it was the white collar crime of identity theft.
I called this his "come to Jesus moment." In reality, I don't know Mr. Blake's religious affiliation, nor do I care, and this doesn't have anything to do with Jesus. Sometimes new Negroes and black celebrities, which sometimes can be one in the same, need to be reminded that they are black.
You see every day when I am on social media, there is some "new black" (black folks who are so educated, have so much money, have a certain number of white friends, that they believe that they are white by association) or some low key racist white person (you know the ones who always quote MLK to quell black anger, try to tell black people who to vote for, love the Confederate flag, and who have a few token black friends, so they can't be racist (insert eyeroll), think they are being deep by quoting the latest crime statistics on black on black crime, or publishing memes of blacks at their worst, with sermon type commentary of how blacks need to do better, which we refer to as respectability politics. Respectability politics is the belief that if you speak correct English, do not have gold teeth, have dual degrees, drive a nice car, don't live in the hood, don't sag your pants, have a clean criminal record, etc.etc.etc. that you are somehow immune to white supremacy, racism, and you will be treated fairly by cops and those in position of authority, and if you are guilty of any of these grave sins and are murdered by cops or civilians alike, well, it is okay because black folks kill each other, so we should be more concerned about that.
So this is why although I hate that Mr. Blake had that experience, there is a small part of me that is glad that it happened. Close your mouth in disgust and shock! Sometimes it takes things like this happening to the so called "respectable Negroes" for people to pay attention to what I and others more distinguished than me have been trying to tell you'll for years. Our country has a serious problem with race! Electing President Obama twice did not cure it! Neither did it magically disappear after your ancestors murdered Dr. King (You can stop quoting him now!).
So the question now becomes, what are we going to do about it? Quoting Dr. King, electing a black president, having friends of other races, and posting "deep memes" haven't worked! Because I don't know about you, but I am tired of black mothers burying their children, and their murderers getting GoFundme fundraisers, media interviews, and book deals, as opposed to life in prison and/or a needle in their arms.
Until next time.....
I called this his "come to Jesus moment." In reality, I don't know Mr. Blake's religious affiliation, nor do I care, and this doesn't have anything to do with Jesus. Sometimes new Negroes and black celebrities, which sometimes can be one in the same, need to be reminded that they are black.
You see every day when I am on social media, there is some "new black" (black folks who are so educated, have so much money, have a certain number of white friends, that they believe that they are white by association) or some low key racist white person (you know the ones who always quote MLK to quell black anger, try to tell black people who to vote for, love the Confederate flag, and who have a few token black friends, so they can't be racist (insert eyeroll), think they are being deep by quoting the latest crime statistics on black on black crime, or publishing memes of blacks at their worst, with sermon type commentary of how blacks need to do better, which we refer to as respectability politics. Respectability politics is the belief that if you speak correct English, do not have gold teeth, have dual degrees, drive a nice car, don't live in the hood, don't sag your pants, have a clean criminal record, etc.etc.etc. that you are somehow immune to white supremacy, racism, and you will be treated fairly by cops and those in position of authority, and if you are guilty of any of these grave sins and are murdered by cops or civilians alike, well, it is okay because black folks kill each other, so we should be more concerned about that.
So this is why although I hate that Mr. Blake had that experience, there is a small part of me that is glad that it happened. Close your mouth in disgust and shock! Sometimes it takes things like this happening to the so called "respectable Negroes" for people to pay attention to what I and others more distinguished than me have been trying to tell you'll for years. Our country has a serious problem with race! Electing President Obama twice did not cure it! Neither did it magically disappear after your ancestors murdered Dr. King (You can stop quoting him now!).
So the question now becomes, what are we going to do about it? Quoting Dr. King, electing a black president, having friends of other races, and posting "deep memes" haven't worked! Because I don't know about you, but I am tired of black mothers burying their children, and their murderers getting GoFundme fundraisers, media interviews, and book deals, as opposed to life in prison and/or a needle in their arms.
Until next time.....
Monday, September 7, 2015
What Most of You Got Wrong About Kim Davis
"And Jesus said unto them, "Render unto Caesar those things that are Caesar's and unto God those things that are God's, and they marvelled at him." Mark 12:17.
I guess in most Christians' haste to jump on a religious bandwagon, especially in their ever tiring crusade against gay people (rolls eyes), they just conveniently skipped over this scripture.
Let me explain to those of you, who are slow and so caught up in your righteous indignation. It means that you most follow both the laws of the land and God's laws. It did not say that you could pick or choose either. You must follow BOTH! I placed that in capital letters because some of you seem to forget that you haven't ascended to Heaven yet, and you are still a mere mortal bound by the laws of the land.
Most of you have jumped on the bandwagon of supporting Kim Davis, because that is the good Christian thing to do. She is a Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. If you had conducted research on her background, rather than jumping on a bandwagon, you would know this Bible thumping troll has been married three times herself. (Divorce is against God's law, except for adultery, FYI), she has an illegitimate child by a married man, and not only did she refuse to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, but she refused several heterosexual couples who did not meet her standards either...now how stupid do you feel for jumping on this bandwagon?
Kim Davis is an elected official, who has sworn an oath to not only uphold the Constitution, but local and state laws where she holds her position. She could have easily resigned. Government officials do it all of the time, usually amid scandal, but she actually had the opportunity to exit gracefully. But no, in drama queen and true troll fashion she had to refuse to obey the law, pretend to be religiously persecuted. So now we as a public have to be subjected to the Lifetime movie, the book deal, the media interviews, and all of the drama behind her pseudo religious crusade.
Let me tell you modern Christians something. God is bigger, more knowledgeable, richer, more powerful than you, so I don't think that he needs for you to fight his battles.
Let me tell you what he does need. For you to be a little less hypocritical. This means focus on the sins that you are committing rather than constantly thumping your chests and your Bible against your fellow man. Stop asking him for more stuff for your greedy selves. Instead pray for your fellow man who is less fortunate. Above all, represent him through your daily life through your 24/7 good deeds, and not only when folks are watching you.
Maybe then people will respect you more, your religious beliefs, and actually believe in the God, who you say that you represent!
Until next time.....
I guess in most Christians' haste to jump on a religious bandwagon, especially in their ever tiring crusade against gay people (rolls eyes), they just conveniently skipped over this scripture.
Let me explain to those of you, who are slow and so caught up in your righteous indignation. It means that you most follow both the laws of the land and God's laws. It did not say that you could pick or choose either. You must follow BOTH! I placed that in capital letters because some of you seem to forget that you haven't ascended to Heaven yet, and you are still a mere mortal bound by the laws of the land.
Most of you have jumped on the bandwagon of supporting Kim Davis, because that is the good Christian thing to do. She is a Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. If you had conducted research on her background, rather than jumping on a bandwagon, you would know this Bible thumping troll has been married three times herself. (Divorce is against God's law, except for adultery, FYI), she has an illegitimate child by a married man, and not only did she refuse to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, but she refused several heterosexual couples who did not meet her standards either...now how stupid do you feel for jumping on this bandwagon?
Kim Davis is an elected official, who has sworn an oath to not only uphold the Constitution, but local and state laws where she holds her position. She could have easily resigned. Government officials do it all of the time, usually amid scandal, but she actually had the opportunity to exit gracefully. But no, in drama queen and true troll fashion she had to refuse to obey the law, pretend to be religiously persecuted. So now we as a public have to be subjected to the Lifetime movie, the book deal, the media interviews, and all of the drama behind her pseudo religious crusade.
Let me tell you modern Christians something. God is bigger, more knowledgeable, richer, more powerful than you, so I don't think that he needs for you to fight his battles.
Let me tell you what he does need. For you to be a little less hypocritical. This means focus on the sins that you are committing rather than constantly thumping your chests and your Bible against your fellow man. Stop asking him for more stuff for your greedy selves. Instead pray for your fellow man who is less fortunate. Above all, represent him through your daily life through your 24/7 good deeds, and not only when folks are watching you.
Maybe then people will respect you more, your religious beliefs, and actually believe in the God, who you say that you represent!
Until next time.....
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