I don't make New Year's resolutions because I never keep them, so what I do is I look back over the past year, and examine ones that I learned: some through heartache, some through joy, and others being a mixture of both of those feelings.
So heading into 2017, here is what I learned:
1. I don't like people-No, I tolerate most because my million and one jobs say that I have to, but if I could barricade myself inside my home, with some good books, good tv/movies, and make some money, and only have to talk to others via text messaging, emails, and only on my terms, this would be the life for me. So one of my goals for 2017, is making sure that I seek out more job opportunities where I can make this a reality.
2. Most white people are racist! Before you get your panties in a bunch: In 20 days, Tangerine Hitler, a man who built his entire campaign on misogyny and racism, and who has filled his top cabinet positions with individuals from white nationalist groups; who 53% of white women voted for and 66% of white men, is about to be president of this country. So we can go into semantics, but you and I both know how percentages work, anything over 50% means a majority; hence, my use of the term "most". Rather than getting mad and indignant, work on being better individuals.
3.Most black people are more concerned with acceptance than liberation. We can say "black lives matter" all day, but until we learn to create and cultivate our own, stop looking for validation in white spaces, stop policing our own, stop with the social media memes denigrating our women, giving back when we "make it" rather than telling others to stop complaining, we are truly not invested in liberation; we just want to be accepted!
4. Most men don't like women. Sure you like what's between their legs, sure you like your mothers, sisters, and other females related to you, but you don't like them as a whole. How do I know? Because I have conversations with you, and unless sex is involved or some objectification of their bodies is involved, you have nary a good word to say. Or your constant social media memes disparaging women in some form. Or if there is some disagreement, you are always going to take the side of the man, even if you "know" the woman, and the man is a complete stranger to you. Don't get mad, do better!
5. I must lookout for self more. Nope this is not a bitter woe is me declaration; this is just gospel based upon 2016 and over 40 years of life experiences. I have always been a giver, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to be liked. There is something that messes with your psyche when a parent abandons you. You feel unworthy, so as a result, you give more than you should to keep even the most undeserving individuals in your life. You overcompensate! I learned some real hard lessons via work, family, friendships, etc, about learning to look out for self because others will, no matter how much you sacrifice (I am typing this now on my death bed, on Day 3 of some sickness, which I am sure is a lesson of some kind!).
And this all I got...nothing profound; Will certainly piss off some, but I tell MY truth. The best thing about those most difficult lessons in life is that once you truly learn them, they carry you over a lifetime, and you can educate others!
Happy New Year to all!
Until next time....
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Kim Burrell and The Black Church
Kim Burrell is catching the venom of many in the social media circle due to a sermon she preached where she referred to homosexuals as "perverts" and said all with that spirit would die in 2017. We are going to overlook the fact that she is scheduled to appear and perform on Ellen in nine days, or that she collaborated with Frank Ocean on her last album, because hypocrisy in the church is never a thing right?
Before you go clutching pearls, getting irate, and having a meltdown, I am going to tell you a little piece of advice my late grandmother gave me over 30 some years ago "consider the source." This is what she always told me when I became enraged over some infraction someone enacted against me. In other words, if we know people to be of a certain group and to dispense a certain rhetoric, why should we be surprised when certain ilk comes out of their mouths?
This is not a debate over the wrongness or rightness of homosexuality; this is more of a truth defining moment. Yes, Kim spoke her mind and even supported it with scripture, but the truth is Kim is not alone. Many feel that way about homosexuals. Your pastors do, even though they have no problem using the musical gifts of your gay musical director. Many of your moms, aunts, cousins do, but have no problem with their gay hairdressers "hooking up their hair".
How many of you are "out" to your family members; yet, they still tell gay jokes? How many of you are "out" to your family and friends; yet, faggot will escape their lips at a moment's notice, when they get mad at a gay person. As long as it is not directed at you, it's all gravy right? This is a poignant lesson in the old adage of "go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." Maybe, it is time for many to practice some self-love and leave those people (family, friends, associates, etc) and things (church) in 2016, which do not embrace the total you, and not just your gifts, which benefit them. But as long as you have your tithes and offering, we are cool right?
The church finds one thing to focus on, and they beat it to death, and what time and experience have taught me, focusing on homosexuality, makes it easier to overlook the "sins" that they are committing.
Some years ago, I got a revelation about the importance of building a relationship with Christ, which was not focused on a building, other people, or outdated practices, and since then, my life has been more free, less judgmental, and I have been liberated. Maybe all of you should do the same!
Until next time....
Before you go clutching pearls, getting irate, and having a meltdown, I am going to tell you a little piece of advice my late grandmother gave me over 30 some years ago "consider the source." This is what she always told me when I became enraged over some infraction someone enacted against me. In other words, if we know people to be of a certain group and to dispense a certain rhetoric, why should we be surprised when certain ilk comes out of their mouths?
This is not a debate over the wrongness or rightness of homosexuality; this is more of a truth defining moment. Yes, Kim spoke her mind and even supported it with scripture, but the truth is Kim is not alone. Many feel that way about homosexuals. Your pastors do, even though they have no problem using the musical gifts of your gay musical director. Many of your moms, aunts, cousins do, but have no problem with their gay hairdressers "hooking up their hair".
How many of you are "out" to your family members; yet, they still tell gay jokes? How many of you are "out" to your family and friends; yet, faggot will escape their lips at a moment's notice, when they get mad at a gay person. As long as it is not directed at you, it's all gravy right? This is a poignant lesson in the old adage of "go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." Maybe, it is time for many to practice some self-love and leave those people (family, friends, associates, etc) and things (church) in 2016, which do not embrace the total you, and not just your gifts, which benefit them. But as long as you have your tithes and offering, we are cool right?
The church finds one thing to focus on, and they beat it to death, and what time and experience have taught me, focusing on homosexuality, makes it easier to overlook the "sins" that they are committing.
Some years ago, I got a revelation about the importance of building a relationship with Christ, which was not focused on a building, other people, or outdated practices, and since then, my life has been more free, less judgmental, and I have been liberated. Maybe all of you should do the same!
Until next time....
Monday, December 19, 2016
When God Wants You to Move On
I am a deeply flawed Christian, meaning I curse, and I like sex even though I am not married. Guess what? God loves me anyway, not in spite of but because of, and because he made me.
And with this love comes the desire for us to thrive, not just survive. The basic tenets of Christianity, are to do so much good, whether you want to or not, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenienced you are, so that when you die, you can live well in eternity. Who wants to die just so they can live better? That is not the kind of life that I want. I want to live well, and to thrive here on earth also.
I had a situation happen today, which is pretty much par for the course for 2016 being one of the worst years ever, but rather than getting mad, or losing my inner peace, these words came to me, "God wants you to move on."
How many of us have stayed in a relationship, even though the other person was a colossal asshole (I told you that I curse) because you didn't believe that you could do better or had a fear of being alone, or the job that you hated, and wanted to quit, but you didn't believe that you could do better, or that dream that you don't chase, because you are afraid that you may fail, or that city that you hate, but are afraid to move away from because your family is such a great support system, and you are afraid of being alone?
I attribute this to choosing to purchase a size 9 shoe, when you know good and hell well that you wear a size 10. Or when you are definitely a size 10, but you don't want to go up to the double digits, so you squeeze yourself into that size 8. Both situations are uncomfortable, and soon will be so uncomfortable that you will have to either buy that larger size, or at the very least stop wearing that particular shoe or article of clothing.
The same is true when you are in a space where God no longer wants you to be, and you are intent on staying anyway. Trust me, you are talking to the king of being hard headed, of surviving as opposed to thriving, of self-loathing.
But the truth is eventually you will get tired of being miserable. Life is too short, and too abundant in blessings, and despite what the church says, God wants you to be happy in this life also.
One of the things that I have promised to myself, from this moment forward, I am thriving as opposed to surviving, I am going to be comfortable, even it means making others uncomfortable; that I am moving out of those spaces where I no longer fit or have outgrown.
I hope that all of you will do the same!
Until next time!
And with this love comes the desire for us to thrive, not just survive. The basic tenets of Christianity, are to do so much good, whether you want to or not, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenienced you are, so that when you die, you can live well in eternity. Who wants to die just so they can live better? That is not the kind of life that I want. I want to live well, and to thrive here on earth also.
I had a situation happen today, which is pretty much par for the course for 2016 being one of the worst years ever, but rather than getting mad, or losing my inner peace, these words came to me, "God wants you to move on."
How many of us have stayed in a relationship, even though the other person was a colossal asshole (I told you that I curse) because you didn't believe that you could do better or had a fear of being alone, or the job that you hated, and wanted to quit, but you didn't believe that you could do better, or that dream that you don't chase, because you are afraid that you may fail, or that city that you hate, but are afraid to move away from because your family is such a great support system, and you are afraid of being alone?
I attribute this to choosing to purchase a size 9 shoe, when you know good and hell well that you wear a size 10. Or when you are definitely a size 10, but you don't want to go up to the double digits, so you squeeze yourself into that size 8. Both situations are uncomfortable, and soon will be so uncomfortable that you will have to either buy that larger size, or at the very least stop wearing that particular shoe or article of clothing.
The same is true when you are in a space where God no longer wants you to be, and you are intent on staying anyway. Trust me, you are talking to the king of being hard headed, of surviving as opposed to thriving, of self-loathing.
But the truth is eventually you will get tired of being miserable. Life is too short, and too abundant in blessings, and despite what the church says, God wants you to be happy in this life also.
One of the things that I have promised to myself, from this moment forward, I am thriving as opposed to surviving, I am going to be comfortable, even it means making others uncomfortable; that I am moving out of those spaces where I no longer fit or have outgrown.
I hope that all of you will do the same!
Until next time!
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