What Most of You Got Wrong About Spring Valley High

Put aside your prior knowledge of teenagers and their attitudes or ability to have one. Put aside your prior knowledge and belief that black people are savage beasts who need to be tamed. Put aside your prior knowledge and belief that cops are good people who uphold the law and are here to protect and serve.

I want you to think like a human being first, and parent, second, and finally think about what you see with your eyes, because your eyes will never lie to you.

Unless you live under a rock, or are so totally self-absorbed that you just don't give a damn, many of you have seen the disgusting video footage of the school resource officer, Ben Fields, of Spring Valley High in Columbia, SC. He not only physically grabs a young black girl, but then pulls her and her desk to the floor in an attempt to physically remove her from a classroom. He drags her across the floor like an animal.  That is all you need to know!

I asked you to think like a human being first, because what human deserves that type of treatment? Remember in this same state, just four months ago, Dylan Roof, a white teen, got a private plane ride and Burger King, when he murdered nine people. This young girl was sitting quietly and non-threatening in a desk. I don't care what you have heard about her supposed infractions or why the police were called, I see a grown man dragging a child, and that is enough for me.

I asked you to think like a parent, second, because as a parent, if you had video footage of someone dragging your child across the floor with a desk on top of them, what would be your reaction? I have seen some of you, lose your shit over your child not making an athletic team, or being bullied, or for an adult just chastising them, so in what warped world, is it okay for this grown man to drag someone else's daughter?

I asked you to think about what you see with your eyes. My eyes show me a young girl sitting in a desk, not saying or doing anything, an officer violating her personal space and safety, who proceeds to grab her, hurl her and the desk to the floor, and then drags her across the very same floor. Now what makes this okay? Is it okay because she is black, and the officer is the equivalent of "massa" from slavery of old? Is it okay because you would do the same if given the opportunity? Is it okay because it is someone else's child and you just don't give a shit?

Would it change your mind to know that this officer has such a violent past with students that his nickname is Officer Slam? Would it change your mind if you knew that just two years ago, he slammed a veteran in the same manner? (Imagine that, you fought for your country, and to have your rights violated like this, by someone sworn to protect and serve, and everyone knows how much we love and respect our veterans right? Insert eyeroll here!). Would it change your mind to know that just a few months ago, this young girl lost her mother, is currently in foster care, and is at a brand new school, with few friends, and very little, if any, familial support? Probably not, because she is just another unruly black kid, who had to be put in her place right?

I am tired and weary from these types of stories. Yes, Ben Fields has been fired, but he will just get a job somewhere else and continue on with the same abuse and harassment. I want criminal charges, because let's face it, if you or I had assaulted someone with such anger and disregard for the law, we would be in a jail cell. Why should police, whose salaries our tax dollars pay, get special treatment when they abuse their authority and break the law?

Until next time.....

No Apologies: Living, Loving, and Letting Go

As you all know, next year is the big 40 for me! Out of the birthdays that I have had over my lifetime, this is the one that I least look forward to. There is something about 40 being old and the end of one's youth. However, rather than meeting the birthday with negativity and trepidation, I decided to write my memoir. I have had an interesting life, if I do say so myself. Coming up with a title was a difficult process and actually getting started was even harder, but I finally did tonight, or at least I wrote the prologue, which is the story of my first suicide attempt at age 14. I decided to share with you all, and will definitely keep you in the loop, as I begin this very formidable journey.

Prologue

            I was sprawled on my grandmother’s bathroom floor. About two hours earlier, I had taken my mother’s psychotropic medication, Lithium. I lost count after about forty. I just wanted to end things. I had an elaborate plan. I would write a suicide now, saying I was sorry, create a sad tale of woe to explain why this suicide attempt was necessary,  take enough pills to end my life, and hopefully die in my sleep.

            But my planned failed, and now I was on my grandmother’s bathroom floor, where just most moments before had emptied my stomach contents into our toilet. I can’t remember if I had cleaned the toilet or myself. The urgency and the violent vomiting, rendered me weak and disoriented. It took me more than a few moments to even figure out where I was. My head was spinning, throat parched, my pajamas wet and clammy from the profuse sweating. In that moment, all I could think about was my family. My grandmother had a heart condition, and had a pacemaker inserted three years before, and it would kill her to find me like this. My mother had  no patience for this kind of foolishness, so it would make her angry, and my sister was just seven at the time, so all that I would do if she found me, would be traumatize her. I had to get up!

            I gripped the side of the toilet, while I steadied one knee. Despite my weakened status and frail body, my legs had always been strong with big vibrant calves. Once I steadied myself on one leg, I was able to pull myself up and force myself upright. It was a very short walk to my bedroom, as it was the one closest to the bathroom.

           

            When I arrived back in my bedroom, I found that suicide note on my dresser next to my bed. My plan was that whoever found me could read the note and understand what had happened. I had already placed the pill bottle back inside the medicine cabinet, which was right outside my bedroom, which was right off from the kitchen. I immediately tore the note into pieces too small for it to be decipherable, placed it in the trashcan, and made the short walk back to my bedroom. My head was spinning, and I was weaker than I could ever remember being in my life. I collapsed on top of bed covers, and the world went black.

I Don't Give A Damn About Bill Cosby's or The Cosby Show's Legacies!

Ebony Magazine for their November cover issue, created a shocking image. It has an old cast photo of Bill Cosby and his television family, but the pictures is one, which mimics broken glass, which suggests that the Cosby Show legacy is destroyed.

The Black Respectability Police (You know that collective group of Negroes who make it their life's mission to tell other black people what to do constantly (rolls eyes) lost their collective minds. The Bill Cosby supporters were not too far behind.

I get it. You love the Cosby Show. I did too. I have been known to watch marathons of old reruns.
But while we were guffawing at Bill's corny jokes and pretending/wishing that he was our daddy, he was raping women.

For those of you who say what about all of the actors /actresses who received their big breaks into the entertainment sector from being on the Cosby Show? Guess what? He raped some of them too, and used his position and the promise to "further their careers, or stop them" to do so.

For those of you who say what about all of the HBCU's he helped with his donations? Guess what? He raped some of those women too (Google the story about the Temple employee, who he drugged by using his relationship with the university.).

For those of you who say what about the other actors/actresses who are missing royalty checks because most networks won't air the show anymore? Like his wife, Camille, Phylicia Rashad and Keishia Knight-Pulliam vilified his accusers and helped to open them up to unfair public scrutiny, so if they are hit in their pockets too, well, that is called Karma, and I will not shed any tears or lose any sleep.

For those of you who say support him because he is a black man. Let me remind you of Bill Cosby's, You Negroes Ain't Shit tour of 2004, where he ridiculed you for giving your kids ghetto names, told you that you couldn't speak English properly, to pull up your pants, while he was raping women (His huge civil case from 2005, was filed by a woman he raped in 2004, and the lone person who has sued him for his disgusting behavior). Yes, you read that correctly. While Bill Cosby was ridiculing the black community for their behavior, telling you how to make yourselves more socially acceptable, he was raping women.

So although the Cosby Show was a decent show, It is not the only show, and it is certainly not the most important issue for the black community. There are far greater issues on which to focus than a fictitious show' s legacy and a man who probably wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire.

What about your own personal legacies? That is what you should be more concerned about!

Until next time....

Get A Divorce People!

No, I am not advocating divorce. With the divorce rate at over 60%, I don't really think that there is any advocating to be done.The numbers speak for themselves.

The shocking and devastating situation with Lamar Odom this week really got me to thinking. I honestly thought that he and Khloe Kardashian were divorced. Honestly, I try to avoid anything Kardashian related, but I thought that since they both had moved on with other people, that they had ended things legally and officially,

This got me to thinking about a disturbing trend. I have countless friends, who have been separated numerous years, so long that they have moved on and are in serious relationships with other people. I am talking about serious to the point of pledging love and buying engagement rings and the like and still are very much married, at least legally, to someone else.

You do realize that as long as you are legally married to that individual, who probably hates your guts, they can make in and all important decisions if you God forbid, fall deathly ill or need life saving measures? This means in front of your mother, children, or people who actually love/like your monkey tail.

One thing that I know, if God forbid something should happen to me, I know and trust that my mother would make the right decisions on my behalf. It would be difficult, painful, even tragic, but I know that she loves me enough, knows me well enough, that should would make the right decision.

If you have moved on, if you are so in love with your current significant other, hate the other person's guts, then end it. No amount of money, disagreement, or any of those other trivial matters, which cause people to be "separated" for years, are worth allowing another individual, who doesn't even like you anymore, to have that amount of power over your life.

Because think about Lamar Odom. That person could be a Kardashian, or someone like them.

Until next time....