What About Syndrome and How It Affects Sex Assault Victims

With the whole #Me Too Movement, incredible light is being shone on a systematic and historical pattern of sexual assault and violence against both men and women. You have had famous individuals like Terry Crews, Corey Feldman, Rose Garner, Gabrielle Union, and others who have bravely told their stories. Then you have the perpetrators like you'll president that orange minion in the Oval,  GOP Senator Roy Moore, Democratic Senator Al Franken. The perpetrator list goes from Hollywood elites, record executives, politicians, and plenty of other men in authoritative positions.

But extending beyond that is what I called the "what about syndrome". This is that syndrome where when a favorite person of ours, or someone whom we laud as a hero is revealed as a sexual predator, we immediately jump to their defense, and say, "What about Trump? What about Moore? When the truth is, all sexual predators should be punished.

Here is what we know to be true. When victims are women, gay, or people of color, the criminal justice system does not care, so there will be little or no punishment for their assailants. If the perpetrator is a woman, or person of color, then there will be prosecution, and the largest, most unfair sentence will be given. These two things are facts, and until we get non-white supremacists in position of power within our criminal justice system, this will always be true.

However, just because someone is your fave or hero, does not negate their propensity to be predators. When someone tells you that they have been the victim of sexual assault, and you say what about Trump or Moore, or automatically deflect, what you are saying to that individual is that, although what you experienced is tragic, my need to hero worship, punish the opposing political party, or my need to just be right, are more important than justice for you. Stop it!

It took me two years to tell after I was sexually assaulted, and almost 20 to become comfortable discussing it with individuals outside of my social circles due to the attitudes of general society.

It really is okay, if you don't know what to say after this type of information is revealed, to just stay silent. That is far better than telling someone that they are lying through your words or deeds, or deflecting to another sexual predator. No victim is more important than the other, so even if someone whom you favor is being accused, the first priority should be the victim, not your loyalty to the predator.

Each time you deflect, you create anxiety and PTSD for the victims, diminish their worth and cheapen what happened to them.

Sexual assault is not about sex; it is about power and control, and those two things exceed race, socioeconomic status, celebrity status, and age.

And please stop with the only feeling empathy when the victim is not accusing someone whom you care about, or is not related to you in some way. Every victim deserves to believed, heard, and empowered. Get out of your feelings. Stop making it about you, and allow healing to take place!

Until next time....

Matt Lauer: When Douchebaggery and White Privilege Meet Karma

I awakened this morning to the news that longtime NBC news correspondent, Matt Lauer, was fired due to inappropriate sexual behavior. As we all know, this could be any range of things, but  evidently, these allegations are pretty credible and serious. In fact, so serious that Vulture and The New York Times, have had separate ongoing investigations with multiple victims cited, for over two months per their Twitter accounts, so it sounds like NBC just took a preemptive, strike.

Before you cue the violins, the shock and awe, and the crocodile tears over his firing, Matt Lauer is a privileged white male, living in Trump's Amerikkka, who makes over $28 million a year, and has a contract that he has to be paid for through 2018. Like any alley cat, he will land on his feet.

I see this as a case, where douchebaggery and white privilege had a meeting with Karma, and Karma won. Before you lament about how being a douchebag, and having white privilege, do not equal sexual assault, let me remind you that sexual assault is never about sex. It is about the power and the control, that predators have over their victims. Show me a man who is an asshole, and basic despicable person in general, and you will find he is also a man who has a history of sexual violence, assault, abuse, and/or rape in his past or present.

Matt Lauer has a history of being a douchebag and asshole. Here are just a few examples. In 2012, right after the death of Trayvon Martin, Trayvon's parents were interviewed by Lauer. I expected, as man with children of his own, a compassionate, empathetic interview. Instead, he was detached, and all but blamed them for their son's death. That was strike number one for me.

In 2013, when his fellow co-anchor, Ann Curry, was let go from The Today Show, Lauer sat with an undeniable smirk on his face, as she cried her eyes out, about leaving, not of her on volition, and it has since been proven that he had a direct hand in her firing.

When Ryan Lochte, was cited in Rio for public intoxication and urination, referred to a 34 year old man as a "kid" and engaged in a terse exchange with Al Roker, that Lochte shouldn't be held accountable for his piss poor behavior.

During the 2016 campaign and debates, Lauer handed then presidential candidate, Donald Trump "softball" questions, and consistently hammered Hillary Clinton about her emails.

When his fellow African American co-workers, Tamron Hall and Al Roker's roles were reduced on The Today Show, he sat idle, and didn't go to bat for them, which seems to be a general them with him with his minority and women co-workers.

Matt has a history, and this didn't happen in a vacuum, I am just waiting for the real beans to spill, because I know the "real" story will be told soon, and probably not by NBC, considering two other news outlets have their own investigations going.

So before you lose your shit, over a 59 year old white male in Trump's Amerikkka, making $28 million a year, when the average newly graduated print journalist barely makes 30K a year, don't forget that there are other women going through the same things as Lauer's victims, Libya is selling actual humans for as little as $400, and over half of Puerto Rico citizens, a US territory, are still without electricity, food, and water.

Until next time.....

Sometimes You Have to Reap What You Sow

Tyrese Gibson has been in the news quite a bit lately from his "rift" with The Rock about not being chosen for a Fast and Furious spinoff to his court legal battles with his ex-wife over child support and alleged claims that he abused his daughter. It seems that it all came to a head this week for him, when he recorded a tearful plea to be allowed to see his daughter, although most of the video was crying over the 13K a month in child support while claiming to be broke.

Wendy Williams also had a moment this week, where she fainted during a live taping. I have heard everything from stroke, drug use, her husband's cheating, to menopause, as some of the causes for her on air fainting spell.

I have one word for both of these drama queens: Karma.

Tyrese or Cryrese as the internet is calling him, has made a full ministry of shaming and talking shit about black women. From the weaves that they wear in their hair, to their sexuality and the way that they express it to how to be more ladylike, and how to get chosen by bum ass men like himself, but he has been relentless. In fact, he upped the criticism when he got married a few months back to the new Mrs. Gibson, who is not black. My suspicion is, Tyrese has some unresolved mommy issues, since his birth mother has a long standing substance problem. Black women are his targets, because he has a fractured relationship with mommy dearest...Get some therapy bro, and repair your fractured relationship!

Wendy Williams is a mean spirited troll, who has build a brand on messiness! She has outed gay people, gossiped about countless celebrity relationships, has had people on the brink of suicide and insanity with her nastiness!

Let me go on record and saying, that kicking both when they are down, ie, jokes and memes are not nice; however, you get back in this life, what you put out. If you put out nastiness and hurt, nastiness and hurt will come back to you.


And for all you holier than thou folks who make it your life's mission to police others, some people have been the target of Tyrese's and Wendy's nastiness, so stop telling people to have pity or to be as sympathetic to two individuals who would probably not spit on you if you were on fire, or who don't know or care about you.

I am not poking fun at either one, but I am not shedding any tears or losing any sleep over their misfortunes.

Sometimes you just have to reap what you sow! Let the church say Amen!

Until next time....

My Birth Story

Okay, it's my birthday, so I am going to tell all of you a story. It's my birth story, and the first two years after. It's a story about miracles, and living despite all of the odds stacked against you, about faith, and the power of prayer. It's super long, but today is my day, so I am reclaiming my time; you can reclaim yours tomorrow (smile).
As most of you are aware, my mother was 17 when I was born, and a high school senior. To be more specific, she was only three weeks into her senior year because in Faison (Mayberry), because we were such a large agricultural area, school always started the Tuesday after Labor Day.
So after nine months of morning sickness, the doctor gave my mother some pills (apparently that is how things were done in the 1970's), to put her into labor. Did I mention the doctor in question (I am not mentioning his name, because woosah) was a general medicine practicing doctor not an OB-GYN? He just added delivering babies as a specialty. This story gets better.
My mother was instructed to take the medicine early that morning and meet him in his office, not the hospital, at 8am. She was there on time, but he didn't meet her there until 11am. I was born at 11:45am! 5 pounds 11ounces 19 inches long.
So 250 stitches later for her, and jaundice for me, we were sent home later that evening!
For the first few months I thrived, as much as a baby with a teen mother, born at a doctor's office, severally jaundiced can! My mother returned to high school in December a few weeks before Christmas break, and I was cared for by my maternal grandmother (Ms. Queen), who is about six weeks shy of turning 61, as she was nearly 44 when she had my mother and twin brother. I was almost 3 months old, and weighed nine pounds.
One morning in January, a few weeks after Christmas, my grandmother gave me a bath, put me down, and I become immobile. No baby cooing, no muscle movement, still as a statue. She immediately took me to the doctor, and the doctor hypothesized that possibly I might have had a few strokes prior to birth, and those were just some after effects.
I was referred to Duke and Chapel Hill hospitals. Now this is pre-I-40, so a trip to either one of those towns from Mayberry, was an entire day trip. Did I mention neither my grandmother or mother had a driver's license, my mother has already missed three months out of school, is a senior, and we didn't have good health insurance?
Doctors ran test after test. All kinds of specialists were brought in. They repeated the pre-birth stroke theory. Told my mother that I had a 10-20% chance of survival. If by some miracle I did survive, I would be "retarded" (People were a little less politically correct in the 1970's apparently), and I would never walk. At this point, I lost my ability to suck a bottle and had to be tube fed through my nose. My mother was 17; my grandmother tube fed me, until my nose became so sore and bruised that she couldn't take it anymore, so she enlisted the help of my Cousin Margie Darden. She left her bed many nights in the early morning hours to tube feed me (she worked full time, and had four girls of her own at home).
So from January 1977 until September of 1978, I spent more time in hospitals than I did at home, being tube fed, and weighing nine pounds. My mom was distraught. Seventeen, having a baby that you didn't plan for, and to be told that the child was going to die or be "delayed" was a bit much, but I had a praying grandmother, who was strong in faith, who believed her God could do anything. So she assembled a group of women who she called her prayer warriors (Evangelist Maxine Teachey, Evangelist Emma Gray Oates, Evangelist Maybelle Marable, and Evangelist Oliver). I am sure there were many others, but those are the ones who come to mind at this point.
One day along this journey, my grandmother went to the hospital, walked into my room, as I laid there hooked up to various tubes (I was completely naked except a diaper). My grandmother noticed that I was so cold, that I had turned blue. So my grandmother asked the nearest nurse who she could find, "Why does he not have on any clothes, or isn't being warmed properly?" The nurse replied, "He's not going to make it, and doctors told us just to keep him comfortable." So my grandmother (who was a much better Christian than I am...hallelujah somebody), asked the nurse, "If I promise to wash his clothes, will just please put him on at least a sleeper?" So the nurse went against her superiors and did what she asked.
One day, my grandmother was at home (She and my mother took turns staying with me at the hospital) in the bathtub, and she said a voice spoke to her, and said, "This is Corey's breakthrough."
At the time, she was alone, so it couldn't have been a human voice. So now this is where faith has to kick in! So she calls later that morning, to get an update on my status and is informed that there isn't any change. She calls the next morning, and is informed that there is still no change. But faith! She calls the third morning, the nurse on duty said and I quote, "Ms. King, he is emptying bottles faster than we can give them to him." (At this point, I had been tube fed for somewhere around eight months). From this point on, I continued to thrive, and I took my first steps one week before my second birthday! This, the baby who had a 10-20% survival rate. This baby, who doctors said that if by some miracle I survived, I would be retarded and confined to a wheelchair.
By the way, I am 41 today. I was in the academically gifted program beginning in 4th grade, took Honors classes in high school, attended college on an academic scholarship, have two degrees, and next year, I celebrate 20 years in teaching.
Why? Because I had a praying grandmother who knew a man, who can do anything!
At this time, I would like to thank each of you for reading my story, your birthday wishes, and the outpouring of love on my special day! And remember that with the right people in your corner, faith, and a praying grandmother, you too can do anything!

Kevin Hart and Fake Apologies

I can’t stand fake apologies. If you have done me wrong, I would rather that you remain silent than to insult my intelligence and the sanctity of our relationship, and issue an apology that you don’t mean.

When you apologize to protect your brand, to toss and floss for social media followers, or because you got caught, those apologies are fake and insincere, proving that you are not genuine, and if the circumstances were the same, you would do the same, just be more careful next time.

This is how I feel about Kevin Hart’s apology to his wife and kids via Instagram because his sidepiece threatened to extort him and reveal his abhorrent behavior with her.

As more news comes to light, not only did Kevin cheat on his pregnant wife, his choice was not one, but two strippers, and they only reason why he “fessed up” (confessed for the Ebonics challenged) was because the young ladies threatened him with exposure if he didn’t pay them.

So, let me sum it up for you: Kevin cheated, and only came clean because his sidepiece threatened to expose him. He was too cheap to pay the money that she asked for, so he thought he would get ahead of the story by confessing, and even donated to Hurricane Harvey relief to throw everyone off his story (rolls eyes).

There are those of you who say this is not our business, it’s between Kevin and his wife. I call bullshit. Kevin involved all of us when he posted his personal business via social media. Kevin involved us in his business when he paraded his former “sidepiece” around as his “rib”, which is a biblical principle (read Genesis if you are Bible challenged). Kevin involved us in his business when he made his whole stand up routine, Laugh at My Pain with soliloquies about how he cheated on his first wife, Torrei Hart. He even created a show, Househusbands of Hollywood, where he creates parodies of his ex-wife as being money hungry, loud, obnoxious, and hell bent on making his life miserable, while he tries to move on. However, in this parody, he conveniently leaves out the part where he cheated, but I digress.

Ultimately, what I am saying is that Kevin’s latest shenanigans are not a simple temporary lapse of judgment or bad decision making. It is just simply part of his character. He cheated on his first wife, with the current one, and now he is cheating on her with others. The only thing is that this time he is rich, this wife is younger, and it happened in less time. He made money and got rich off celebrating his cheating, so why should we feel sympathy or run to his rescue now?

But we as the black community love putting on our capes to play Captain Save a Negro, and usually, it involves someone who would not spit on us if we were on fire. Remember OJ? The black community rallied around him in 1994/1995, even though he hadn’t stepped foot in the community since his divorce from first wife, Marguerite! People Magazine did an interview with this same Kevin Hart in 2016. They tried to get him to speak on the disparities in roles for African American actors/actresses, and how unfair the award system was, and you know what his response was, “Stop complaining and do the work.” So, I ask you, why cape for Kevin now? He had the opportunity to use his platform and brand for the good of his people, and he took the coon’s way out, so I say fuck him! He made his bed, let him lie in it, and let him accept whatever repercussions come his way.

I will save my sympathy for his children, both the living and unborn, because clearly, they have a fool for a father. I will save my sympathy for those in the black community like Colin Kaepernick who risked his career to stand up for the oppressed, and all those African American celebrities who despite the harm or threat of harm to their brands and/or careers, speak up for us anyway.

Until next time….

Religion, Love, and Denial Will Not Fight White Supremacy, So Do Something Or Move The Fuck On

I see a disturbing trend in the wake of the violent white supremacist mayhem that occurred in Charlottesville, Virginia, and they are three group groups, which I want to shut up, and move the fuck out of the way, so real work can be done.

The first group are the religious zealots (Notice I said nothing about God fearing people, strong in faith and action). No, I am talking about the ones of you who every time I crisis like this occurs, you go into slave mode with the singing of spirituals, quoting of scripture, and talking about heaven. You can't tell me that Dr. King didn't pray or love Jesus, or the current Rev. Dr. William Barber doesn't love Jesus and pray, but where would we be as a people, if they just prayed all of the time, and didn't place any action behind it? Then there are the white religious zealots like that Jerry Falwell Jr and Pat Roberts, who no matter what vile, disgusting thing Trump does or says, they support it, and use God as a crutch to justify it. If you can't do the work, I need you to sit down and shut up about your faith. If your Jesus and faith don't compel you to action and to fight for the rights of all people, then you and I don't know the same God!

The next group that works my last damn nerve are the "love conquers hate" "we need more love" "God is love" with the ridiculous emojis, and the selective human interest stories of "kindness". Black folks have experienced slavery, lynchings, Jim Crow, and now cops killing us, so as the great Tina Turner once said, "What does love got to do with it?" How did love solve any of those issues? It doesn't! It is not hate to tell the truth about race. It is not hate to tell racists that you are not taking their shit, and you will beat their asses. It is not hate, rather than "turning your cheek" to give them the cheeks of your asses to kiss. Black folks have tried peaceful....and guess what happens? We got water hoses, billy clubs, attack dogs, and arrests. White supremacists show up with tiki swords, guns, and knives, and what do they get? The police leaving them alone, declaring the area unsafe and retreating, and no arrests; all to protest the removal of Civil War monuments, but eight people just got arrested in Durham for destroying the same monuments. Now how do love and peace solve any of these problems?

The final group that gets on my last ass nerve are those of you in denial. I have people on my social media who are 30 plus years old, clutching pearls, and outright lying about race relations in this country. These individuals are making it seem that this is the first time they have witnessed or experienced racial tension and division in this country. What country did you temporarily visit? Because this Amerikkka that I have been a citizen of for almost 41 years, has always had problems with race. I got people from my hometown lying saying all of the races got along. Just because you were able to slide your brown penis up in Becky's snatch a time or two, does not mean the different races got along. Just because you socialized with people of other ethnic groups at "school" or played on the same sports teams , does not mean that the races got along. Ask yourselves these pertinent questions: How many of you had a boyfriend/girlfriend of a lighter hue, in which you carried on a full relationship with, without any issues from either family?; ask yourself how many times you attended church with people of other ethnic groups?, or how many times you were invited over their homes to spend the nights or for different functions, with the whole extended families there, because that is what friends do.  Meeting at a public place like a park or school, does not equate friendship. My friends invite me to their baby showers, their weddings, their grandchildren's events, private, intimate spaces, which illustrate they actually love and value me...but I have real friends, not associates. Children nine and younger were born during the Obama era, so I expect the naivete, as it relates to race relations, but you grown rusty mofos, need to tell the truth and shame the devil, because right now you are being intellectually obtuse, and downright untruthful with this pearl clutching, and rewriting of history.

The only way we are ever to solve our problems with race, is to be honest. If you don't want anymore Charlottesville, and whatever transpires from that, then you need to be more proactive. Get off your knees in prayer, and get on your feet in action. Prayer is good, but some work needs to come along with it also. For all of you "love" people, love until your cup runneth over, but also let racists know that you are not tolerating their bullshit. For the ones in denial, you need some truth serum, because until you tell the truth, you are doing more harm than good.

Until next time....

John McCain: Empathy, Not Sainthood

Both Republicans and Democrats alike, were speechless after learning that Sen. John McCain had brain cancer, the same brain cancer that took the lives of former Sen. Edward Kennedy, and Beau Biden. This type is inoperable and incurable.

There was a Facebook video going around, which shows a town hall during the 2008 campaign, where a racist white woman says she didn't trust Obama because he was a Muslim. McCain defends Obama and says he isn't, and white liberals retweeted that video on my Twitter timeline no less than a thousand times. Mention John McCain's name and all you hear about is his decorated war history and his five year stint as a POW. His courage and valor.

I am saying miss me with all of that bullshit!

This is the man who unleashed Sarah Palin on us. Out of all of the smart, capable women in this country who he could have chosen as his running mate, he chose the dumbest one that he could find, and like a bad infection, she and her brand of stupid will not go away. I blame him for giving that idiot a platform in the first place.

Remember John McCain has been an elected official since 1982, and 99.9% percent of the time, he has voted for programs, which royally screwed over black and brown people, stripped women of their rights to agency over their own bodies, and cut spending to programs that largely service the poor.

He also voted against the MLK holiday bill. Who doesn't think Dr. King deserves a holiday, other than a two bit racist?

Even as we speak, our elected officials are voting on a bill to repeal Obamacare, a move, which could strip over 22 million people of their healthcare. Mind you Sen. McCain just got out of the hospital, out of intensive care, not even physically capable of doing a full day's work, just to vote and strip millions of their healthcare, while receiving a six figure salary, and top of the line healthcare, at your taxpayer expense.

So you can have empathy for John McCain and his cancer battle, but your can also take his racist ass to task for voting for and supporting programs, which screw you as a black or brown person, women, and other marginalized groups over, in his quest to remain loyal to a party, which believes that political party affiliation is more important than the basic needs and rights of the country's citizens.

I choose instead to save my empathy for my neighbors, friends, and family, who are battling cancer without the six figure taxpayer salaries and government and taxpayer funded healthcare.

Until next time....

Being Mary Jane and the Power of Choice

If you haven't watched this week's episode of Being Mary Jane, you might want to stop reading right now!

If you have, then you know Mary Jane wrecked her relationship with the "good guy" Lee for a fling with the bad boy/corporate asshole Justin.

Viewers clutched pearls, screamed at their televisions, and  called her every name in the book. Because as a 40 year old black woman, people feel that if you have a good relationship, that you should stay in it for the long hall, that you should settle, in other words, be damned if you as a grown ass woman decides to make decision, which doesn't jell with what everyone else wants for your life.

This made me think about a few things!

I don't think  Mary Jane wants a husband and baby. Those are things society has told her, and all of us who happen to be over 30, unmarried, and childless, that we should desire. I can't tell you the number of friends and relatives, male and female alike, who have placed themselves in long term relationships, marriages, refused to get divorced, had children that they didn't want, because society told them that this was the next step, or that they were at an age where this needed to happen.

Instead of doing what their hearts desired, which is to remain single and childless, they placed themselves in these impossible situations or drove themselves crazy because they didn't have these things, instead of telling these folks to mind their business. The truth is some of the very folks judging you, and trying to get you hitched and with child, are miserable, and misery loves company, so they want you to be as miserable as they are.

Even Jesus said that he wanted us to have life, and have it more abundantly, and sometimes that includes a spouse and children, and sometimes that means being eternally unattached.

The older I become, the more happy unattached I am. I am not a loser, less than, or a failure. I am happy, at peace, and fulfilled.

The overall thing for the fictional character Mary Jane, and anyone over 30 to remember is, life is short. Not matter whether you have 50 or 100 years, live your best life, even if that means going against the grain. You will make bad decisions; we all do, but a decision doing what you want to do, regardless of public opinion and without worrying about public opinion, is much easier to deal with than one made, trying to live for others' approval.

Just some food for thought!

Until next time....

What's It Going To Take: Philando Castile and Why I'm Mad As Hell

Against my better judgment, I watched the video of Philando Castile's last minutes on this earth. I thought about not watching it, but I figured if Diamond Reynolds and her four year old daughter could live through it, and show courage and conviction throughout this horrible, life changing ordeal, then I could at least view the video.

It’s ten minutes of heart wrenching fury. The video begins with Philando’s murderer (he shot him at point blank range , with no regard for his life, and the lives of his passengers, so that is how I will refer to him; he doesn’t deserve any acknowledgement beyond that). 

The murderer flashes his lights for Philando to pull over. Only mere seconds pass, and Philando pulls over in compliance to the shoulder of the road. His murderer walks up to the car, hands slightly resting on his holstered weapon (This shows me he is already prepared to use it). He tells Philando that he pulled him over for a non-working brake light, although we clearly see two working lights in the video. (Although prior to exiting his car, you can hear him radioing his superiors that Philando fits the description of a robbery suspect due to his  “wide setting” nose (Most black people have big noses, it is too dark to tell that when you are behind someone (#rollseyes). He asks for Philando’s registration and driver’s license. Philando hands him his registration, while letting him know that he has a weapon because he is a concealed carrier. The murderer says don’t touch it or pull it out. Philando says okay. He reaches in his pocket for his license (which his murderer asked for). The murderer begins screaming, fires seven rounds in mere seconds (five hit Philando).

 After the shooting, his murder trains his weapon on him for three solid minutes, no attempts at CPR. He has a partner who takes Philando’s girlfriend’s daughter away (Mind you he is standing there on the passenger’s side the entire time. Never afraid enough to draw his weapon. The only time he even moves, is when the murderer begins shooting to keep from getting hit). Think about it! He is at the car as well, but is never afraid of anyone, until his partner begins discharging his weapon. So the officer being afraid is total bullshit! It takes another two minutes before CPR is started! That is five minutes after receiving five potentially life threatening shots to receive medical aid. When they remove him from the car, Philando is dragged out by his arm (Remember a few of the rounds actually hit him in the arms, and bleeding out from those injuries led to his death).

Meanwhile, his murderer is yelling expletives; Diamond Reynolds, Philando’s girlfriend and passenger, after her life being possibly ended, is placed in handcuffs. She is calm, resilient, not a threat; yet, she is placed in handcuffs like a common criminal. Her daughter, four years old, a mere baby, is watching all of this, as they sit in the back of a police car together; the man who they both love, lying on a pavement bleeding out. (Diamond is taken to the police station, questioned relentlessly for hours, separated from her child, her phone. She found out about his death, almost 12 hours later).

The jury of 10 whites, 2 blacks, watched that same video; yet, acquitted Philando’s murderer of all charges. I am beyond angry. What makes me even more angry is the stunning silence of my fellow white friends. You can get upset and post about a wounded or missing animal, you can post about a blond haired, blue eyed child missing, some of you’ll are still mad at Michael Vick after all these years, even though he has served his time and paid restitution, but when it comes to black lives, you are silent.

 You love our music, our bodies, you delight in our comedy, but when we die, you are silent.  When cops are murdered (most are murdered by white men by the way), you post all kinds of blue lives matter rhetoric, always posting about your love of cops, but when they are in the wrong, and yes, they are human and can be wrong, you are silent.

I have friends who are cops. And you know what? I don’t know one who has denounced what Philando’s murderer did. Not a judgment, not slander, but truth, as I speak with them often. Yes, there are good cops, but when you allow your fellow brothers to do wrong, and don’t call them out or denounce them, you are culpable. Silence is compliance! 

When you as a white culture are silent, what you show us as your fellow black Americans that our culture (music, slang, comedy, anything that entertains you) are more important than us. Because I guarantee you, if white people were getting murdered at these rates with no consequence or punishment, things would change. I guarantee if more black people started getting concealed weapons permits, shooting back, retaliating with some street justice, things would change.

I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I don’t have any at this point, but what I do know, your silence is deafening. It shows where your heart is, especially when you have been so vocal on some many other issues and causes that are far less important.

I shouldn’t have to live in fear of the police. I shouldn’t have to leave in fear, each time I leave my home, not knowing if I or my family members will return safely.

So what is going to take?

Until next time….