Her Name is Patrice Brown, and She is Not Your Bae

They were the pictures that broke the internet. Earlier this week, pictures of a 24 year old Georgia paraprofessional circulated around the internet. The pictures were normal, every day pictures that anyone with an Instagram account would take, but because the lady has curves and is aesthetically gorgeous, they stirred up a great deal of controversy.


Internet haters and admirers alike were so enthralled with the pics that, they named her "Teacher Bae", but her name is Patrice Brown. It is what  her parents named her, I am sure that is what she prefers to be called, so put some respeck on her name!

Black men salivated, which I imagine is  how the name "Teacher Bae" came into existence. They immediately ran to her defense saying they thought she was dressed professionally, how beautiful she was, how much they loved her body! (Because clearly any woman who is sexy, is strictly for a man's viewing pleasure and sexual appetites) (Insert eyeroll here).

Jealous women who themselves do the work of patriarchy just as often as men began the verbal assaults and typical hater comments (She is dressed too sexy for a teacher; she is disturbing the educational process, she looks like she is going to the club, she is promoting pedophilia (I am still scratching my head over the asinine bullshit), she is causing young boys to be oversexualized, etc). The comments were vicious, nauseating, and transformed me back to high school with visions of "mean girls" rather than grown ass women who should be too mature and too busy to be so petty.

You know what I say to all of this? All of you shut the fuck up!

For the men, she is not thinking about your dusty, crusty asses, or else you would have already met her acquaintance. If she was 300lbs and looked like Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son (God rest her soul), you wouldn't give her a second look or care how she was dressed.

For the women, how about uplifting your fellow sister?. Women receive enough bullshit responses from men, why add to another woman's pain by being bitter Bettys and being vicious?

Unless you are paying her bills, giving her a clothing allowance, just shut the fuck up! Oh, I already said that, but it bears repeating because as a society we are too concerned with matters, which don't concern us, too preoccupied with tearing others down, and as black people, we are too focused on the white gaze and acceptance, which I would probably guess most of these comments probably originate from these internal issues.

The school board has reprimanded her, and there is even talk about her possibly losing her job, because of some horny men, and some bitter ass women. All because people feel the need to be keyboard bullies and share their outdated, hypocritical, and judgmental views of how another individual should live his or her life.

What we have learned? I am not talking about Ms. Brown! I am talking about you judgmental assholes, who like to act like tough guys because of the anonymity of the internet.

The lesson here is mind your own  damn business! Because it takes half of your time to mind your own business, and the other half staying the fuck out of everyone else's! Do you get it now?

Until next time....

Please Shut Up About My Age

I am turning 40 next week, next Wednesday to be exact, and it is messing with me. Age 18, I celebrated because I was finally an adult, 21 because I was a "real adult", 25 because I was still young, 30 because I found my voice, but 40 means I am old.

I have received a myriad of responses. Most of them have been you look good for your age (What is a 40 year old  supposed to look like?) Or the standard, "Be glad that you made it to this age." WTF? Look, my best friend died seven years ago at age 32, and I have lost several family members in their 50's, so I know it is a blessing to reach this age, but shut your monkey ass up and let me have my pity party if I want to!

Right now my body is doing crazy stuff. I will spare you the details! I am thinking about all of the energy that I used to have in my 20's! I am thinking about all of the people who were in my life back then, who are either gone through death, or because they royally fucked up, or I fucked up, either way, my social calendar and familial calendar, are not what they used to be, and sometimes that messes with me too!

Years ago, I envisioned my life differently, and so that messes with me. Yes, I am grateful for what I have, the peace, the joy, and some other things, but I just envisioned things a little differently, so allow me to be sad.

I now see why suicide and self-mutilation rates are so high. People reach out to you and tell you how they feel, and you come with some old polyanna, life is great, Jesus freak, bullshit! Let people take agency over their feelings, and if you can't listen, just shut the fuck up!

I am sure over the next week, several weeks, and months, there will be more unsolicited advice, and "suck it up" type responses, and I am telling you'll in advance, "Fuck you, and shut the fuck up"!

I am sure that this will pass, like most things in life, but until it does, support me, or just leave me alone, and as Mama Dee says, "In that order!"


Until next time....