I Bid 2016 Adieu

I don't make New Year's resolutions because I never keep them, so what I do is I look back over the past year, and examine ones that I learned: some through heartache, some through joy, and others being a mixture of both of those feelings.

So heading into 2017, here is what I learned:

1. I don't like people-No, I tolerate most because my million and one jobs say that I have to, but if I could barricade myself inside my home, with some good books, good tv/movies, and make some money, and only have to talk to others via text messaging, emails, and only on my terms, this would be the life for me. So one of my goals for 2017, is making sure that I seek out more job opportunities where I can make this a reality.

2. Most white people are racist! Before you get your panties in a bunch: In 20 days, Tangerine Hitler, a man who built his entire campaign on misogyny and racism, and who has filled his top cabinet positions with individuals from white nationalist groups; who 53% of white women voted for and 66% of white men, is about to be president of this country. So we can go into semantics, but you and I both know how percentages work, anything over 50% means a majority; hence, my use of the term "most". Rather than getting mad and indignant, work on being better individuals.

3.Most black people are more concerned with acceptance than liberation. We can say "black lives matter" all day, but until we learn to create and cultivate our own, stop looking for validation in white spaces, stop policing our own, stop with the social media memes denigrating our women, giving back when we "make it" rather than telling others to stop complaining, we are truly not invested in liberation; we just want to be accepted!

4. Most men don't like women. Sure you like what's between their legs, sure you like your mothers, sisters, and other females related to you, but you don't like them as a whole. How do I know? Because I have conversations with you, and unless sex is involved or some objectification of their bodies is involved, you have nary a good word to say. Or your constant social media memes disparaging women in some form. Or if there is some disagreement, you are always going to take the side of the man, even if you "know" the woman, and the man is a complete stranger to you. Don't get mad, do better!

5. I must lookout for self more. Nope this is not a bitter woe is me declaration; this is just gospel based upon 2016 and over 40 years of life experiences. I have always been a giver, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to be liked. There is something that messes with your psyche when a parent abandons you. You feel unworthy, so as a result, you give more than you should to keep even the most undeserving individuals in your life. You overcompensate! I learned some real hard lessons via work, family, friendships, etc, about learning to look out for self because others will, no matter how much you sacrifice (I am typing this now on my death bed, on Day 3 of some sickness, which I am sure is a lesson of some kind!).

And this all I got...nothing profound; Will certainly piss off some, but I tell MY truth. The best thing about those most difficult lessons in life is that once you truly learn them, they carry you over a lifetime, and you can educate others!


Happy New Year to all!


Until next time....

Kim Burrell and The Black Church

Kim Burrell is catching the venom of many in the social media circle due to a sermon she preached where she referred to homosexuals as "perverts" and said all with that spirit would die in 2017. We are going to overlook the fact that she is scheduled to appear and perform on Ellen in nine days, or that she collaborated with Frank Ocean on her last album, because hypocrisy in the church is never a thing right?

Before you go clutching pearls, getting irate, and having a meltdown, I am going to tell you a little piece of advice my late grandmother gave me over 30 some years ago "consider the source." This is what she always told me when I became enraged over some infraction someone enacted against me. In other words, if we know people to be of a certain group and to dispense a certain rhetoric, why should we be surprised when certain ilk comes out of their mouths?

This is not a debate over the wrongness or rightness of homosexuality; this is more of a truth defining moment. Yes, Kim spoke her mind and even supported it with scripture, but the truth is Kim is not alone. Many feel that way about homosexuals. Your pastors do, even though they have no problem using the musical gifts of your gay musical director. Many of your moms, aunts, cousins do, but have no problem with their gay hairdressers "hooking up their hair".

How many of you are "out" to your family members; yet, they still tell gay jokes? How many of you are "out" to your family and friends; yet, faggot will escape their lips at a moment's notice, when they get mad at a gay person. As long as it is not directed at you, it's all gravy right? This is a poignant lesson in the old adage of "go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." Maybe, it is time for many to practice some self-love and leave those people (family, friends, associates, etc) and things (church) in 2016, which do not embrace the total you, and not just your gifts, which benefit them. But as long as you have your tithes and offering, we are cool right?

The church finds one thing to focus on, and they beat it to death, and what time and experience have taught me, focusing on homosexuality, makes it easier to overlook the "sins" that they are committing.

Some years ago, I got a revelation about the importance of building a relationship with Christ, which was not focused on a building, other people, or outdated practices, and since then, my life has been more free, less judgmental, and I have been liberated. Maybe all of you should do the same!


Until next time....

When God Wants You to Move On

I am a deeply flawed Christian, meaning I curse, and I like sex even though I am not married. Guess what? God loves me anyway, not in spite of but because of, and because he made me.

And with this love comes the desire for us to thrive, not just survive. The basic tenets of Christianity, are  to do so much good, whether you want to or not, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenienced you are, so that when you die, you can live well in eternity. Who wants to die just so they can live better? That is not the kind of life that I want. I want to live well, and to thrive here on earth also.

I had a situation happen today, which is pretty much par for the course  for 2016 being one of the worst years ever, but rather than getting mad, or losing my inner peace, these words came to me, "God wants you to move on."

How many of us have stayed in a relationship, even though the other person was a colossal asshole (I told you that I curse) because you didn't believe that you could do better or had a fear of being alone, or the job that you hated, and wanted to quit, but you didn't believe that you could do better, or that dream that you don't chase, because you are afraid that you may fail, or that city that you hate, but are afraid to move away from because your family is such a great support system, and you are afraid of being alone?

I attribute this to choosing to purchase a size 9 shoe, when you know good and hell well that you wear a size 10. Or when you are definitely a size 10, but you don't want to go up to the double digits, so you squeeze yourself into that size 8. Both situations are uncomfortable, and soon will be so uncomfortable that you will have to either buy that larger size, or at the very least stop wearing that particular shoe or article of clothing.

The same is true when you are in a space where God no longer wants you to be, and you are intent on staying anyway. Trust me, you are talking to the king of being hard headed, of surviving as opposed to thriving, of self-loathing.

But the truth is eventually you will get tired of being miserable. Life is too short, and too abundant in blessings, and despite what the church says, God wants you to be happy in this life also.

One of the things that I have promised to myself, from this moment forward, I am thriving as opposed to surviving, I am going to be comfortable, even it means making others uncomfortable; that I am moving out of those spaces where I no longer fit or have outgrown.

I hope that all of you will do the same!

Until next time!

Why Trump Won

It's not deep; it's not some long scientific explanation or nuanced conversation; Trump won because 59 million people in this country are deplorables.

When Hillary Clinton called Trump supporters, deplorables during her campaign, Conservatives and Republicans lost their minds, and even wishy washy Liberals thought she should have apologized, but she was telling the unadulterated truth. In fact, I would imagine had she had a penis the fallout would have been a lot less (Yes, I used the woman, sexism card, because it is true, especially as far as she is concerned).

But even more than being deplorable individuals, 59 million of you said Trump's racism, sexism, Islamphobia, homophobia, xenophobia, and any other phobias, were not enough of a deal breaker for you to put our country and its success over your personal selfish needs.

Fifty-nine million of you said your hatred for Hillary was more important than having a competent, inclusive leader.

Fifty-nine million of you said, upholding white supremacy was more important than this country's best interests. Sixty-two percent of white men, and 53 percent of white women voted for him. Let me put this in numbers that you can understand: For ever 200 white people who voted, (there are millions), 115 of you voted for Trump. So you can stop blaming those who didn't vote, the Democratic Party for choosing Hillary (Bernie would not have won either), Millennials, third party voters, etc. My white brothers and sister, this is totally on you. You are the majority! If you didn't personally vote for Trump, I am sure that some of your fellow family members, neighbors, and friends did.

And just like many of us who did not vote for the orange Cheeto suspected, he is filling his cabinet with white nationalists, misogynists, homophobic individuals, Islamphobic individuals, in essence: a basket of deplorables~

So you can stop with the "not all white people rhetoric", you can stop with the faux tears and the move on messages, you can stop with the I am not racist and some of my best friends are black, you can stop with the we are all brothers and sisters talk. When you stepped into the voting booth and voted for this "man" (I use that term loosely), you told me and every marginalized person in Amerikkka what you truly thought about us, so save the rhetoric now.

For every marginalized person (blacks, Latinos, black women (white women sold you out by over half voting for Trump), LGBTQ community, the Islamic community, it is time to take inventory of your inner circle. It is time for you to delete those individuals who do not see your worth, who aren't invested in your success, and who are not lending their voice and bodies to fight for your equal rights and treatment.

If you are taking offense to these words, rather than trying to mobilize and fight the orange tyrant who white people just elected, you are part of the problem, and I want nothing to do with you!

Until next time......

Beyonce, CMA's, and Fragile White Tears

Beyonce, along with the blacklisted Dixie Chicks, gave a spell bounding performance at the CMA's on last evening. In fact, it was so iconic, that the CMA's received the highest ratings in over 50 years (White racists would have you believe it is because the show was just that good, (rolls eyes) but we all know that it was because of a surge of blacks and Beyhive stans, who only watched because Beyonce performed).

True to racist form, whites took to social media to express their disgust that Beyonce would perform country music. Guess what? Black accepted Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Christina Aguilera, Jon B, and countless other whites into the R&B genre, so you'll will just have to deal with Beyonce not only performing at the CMA's, but singing country music period.

Genre is not race specific, nor does any race have the autonomy over who sings a particular genre.

One thing I can say though, at least the real racists came out and spoke their minds.

Their spineless counterparts said more subtle stuff.  For example, "I like Beyonce's older stuff." This is code for I liked it better when I could shake my ass to Beyonce's music and feel good. Once she started singing about black liberation, telling cops to stop shooting and killing us, you all of a sudden only like "her old stuff."

Some even said, "I like her music before she started rapping." When has Beyonce ever rapped? She has collaborated with her husband and Kendrick Lamar, who are hip hop artists, but Beyonce rapping is a new one for me! (rolls eyes).

The CMA organization, who is just as racist, as the people who support them, erased all evidence of Queen Bey's and the Dixie Chicks' mention on their social media accounts, as a response to the backlash of the performance, which was a chickenshit thing to do. If you want to at least appear progressive and inclusive, you make a statement denouncing the racism. Scrubbing your social media accounts shows that you condone the racist behavior.

But what we know about Beyonce' and many of the artists like her, is many racist whites (I didn't say all whites, so calm down) is they like black bodies and appropriating black culture, but they don't like black people.

If racist whites can appropriate, and enjoy black culture, without having to deal with their sordid history of mistreating blacks and dealing with the truth of their racism, they are happy as pigs in slop.

But when artists, and regular every day black folk start speaking the truth, reminding them of their troubling past sins against our culture, and not making them feel good anymore, here come the fragile white tears.

 You are no longer a friend, as an artist, you are no longer talented, you are a race hustler, you are trying to stir up trouble, because racism magically disappeared like fairy dusty and unicorns, some time between your ancestors murdering Dr. King, and Obama becoming POTUS, right?

By the way, I am a black man who loves country music; I love the storytelling aspect, but I despise the racist fans, and the privilege that arise from individuals who try to make it ethnicity and culturally specific.

Get a damn life, Beyonce is still great, and go cry a river to someone who shares your racist views!

Until next time....

The Policing of Black Joy

Tyler Perry's Madea's Halloween movie did a whopping 27.6 million at the weekend box office, and since it took 20 million to make, you have to admit that was a huge victory for Tyler Perry and the actors associated with the film.

Now the Ashy Larrys will come out the woodwork to shame every black person who made this film a success. Who are the Ashy Larrys? These are the black men who identify as straight; yet, are constantly concerned with gaze and approval of other black men; who call women queens as long as they agree with them, accept their misogynistic behavior and convo; yet, you are a bitch, when you don't; usually, they are heavily degreed and well read; yet, rather  than using this education for good, use it to shame and ridicule others who aren't on their level; they are homophobic; class elitists; and have toxic masculinity (masculinity, which really isn't masculinity but as long as it looks that way around their "boys" they are good with it).

These Ashy Larrys in the coming days will call you out of your name for not supporting Nate Parker's Birth of Nation. They will tell you that you are doing the work of white supremacy, while at the same time are so concerned with the white gaze themselves over how Tyler Perry dressed in drag is an assault to black male masculinity (rolls eyes). They will call black women Negro bed wenches; even though African American females made up 60% of the viewing population for Birth of Nation; they will call other black men Uncle Toms, question their sexualities, and be ready to arm wrestle you (like who does that other than 12 year olds?) for not supporting a good black brotha such as Mr. Parker (I bet none of their black asses have read them court transcripts from his rape trial, but whatever; let's not let pesky facts get in the way of good black solidarity (rolls eyes again).

So my response to these Ashy Larrys? Fuck you!

You know why Madea movies do so well? Because being black is hard enough, and we want to laugh sometimes. In addition to the other daily life stuff that we deal with (sickness, death, abuse, employment woes, etc), we have to walk around in this black skin, and sometimes, we like to take a break from the oppression, the daily strife, the racism, and just have a good old belly laugh.

And for 90 minutes or two hours, Tyler Perry gives us that, and the fact that he is not  a rapist, makes it even sweeter.

So enjoy Madea, and remember never let anyone steal your joy!


Until next time....

40 and 1 Month!

I am officially 40 years, and 1 month old today. Out of all my many birthdays, this was the one that I met with extreme anxiety and trepidation! I am talking about the kind of anxiety that had my palms sweaty, my heart beating rapidly, and one that was met with an extreme sense of gloom.

It doesn't help that my mother is only 17 years older than me, and I have witnessed 90% of her milestones in life.

On paper I look good: two degrees, 18 years of experience in my chosen field, actually doing what I attended college for, own my own home; yeah, materialistically speaking, I am a "good black man".

But then there is the other side: I am childless (which is not necessarily a bad thing), single (which is an even greater relief most days), living paycheck to paycheck (yeah, I need to fix that ASAP), and my energy is less (I think that is more a symptom of my age), and unhappy with my jobs (Yes, I have multiple ones).

Earlier today, while pondering my advancing age, and job hatred, I wrote the titles and ideas for seven books.,

Three years ago, I self-published my first one. Since then, I have started on four more, but procrastination, fear, and the busyness of life, have stalled my creativity and my inspiration.

But there is something about being 40 and 1 month. A ticking clock, a sense of urgency, a basic sense of being fed up, and feeling that I am spinning like a hamster on a wheel, that makes me realize that I need to step into my destiny.

I have often been told that I have a way with words; that I would be good at writing books, and I have a plethora of book ideas, but the problem is my follow through. I let life inundate me, when I should be working towards my goals.

What I really want to do is to write books, discuss those books and other life issues with others, guest lecture, give speeches, anything but what I am doing now.

If there is any silver lining to my advanced age, it is a feeling of being unbothered. Unbothered doesn't mean being selfish, uncaring, or a douchebag. For me, it means deciding what I allow to bother me, allowing my needs to take precedent over what is important or necessary to others. Fulfilling my destiny.

Now to get off the proverbial stool of doing nothing, getting rid of complacency, letting go of fear, taking back my life.

Unbothered!

Until next time....

It Took Another White Woman: The Hypocrisy of Trump Supporters

Yesterday, as the big "October surprise" which is common in any election cycle, audio was released of a 2005 interview between NBC correspondent Billy Bush (first cousin to Jeb and Dubya) and Donald Trump. In the released audio, Trump brags about groping women, and basically describes a full on sexual assault. Bush cheers him on, and even encourages his married co-worker, Nancy O'Dell to hug Trump, even though she was the subject of the rapey tirade.

GOP leaders took to social media to denounce Trump's comments (not their endorsements), and feigned disgust.

My question is, where has this disgust been for the last 40 years?

Where was your disgust in the 1970's, when Trump failed to rent to black people, in any of his properties?

Where was your disgust in 1989, when he falsely accused five black men of murder (Central Park 5), and pushed for their executions when DNA evidence later exonerated them?

Where was your disgust in the last 18 months of his campaign where he has likened Mexicans to rapists, all Muslims as terrorists, and basically had venomous things to say about anyone who wasn't white?

Now you are outraged? Why? Because Trump committed a sin, broke the 11th commandment, "Thou shall not disparage or disrespect a white woman!

If you are mad at this statement, where has your anger been the last 40 years of Trump's vileness?

If you are mad at this statement, you should be equally as mad that a reality television producer is the leader of a major political party.

If you are mad at this statement, be mad for the millions of rape victims triggered with PTSD because of Trump's rapey comments.

If you are mad at this statement, be mad for every person of color, who he has managed to offend, disparage, and disrespect over his lifetime!


Until next time.....

I Am Not Going to See Birth of a Nation, and You Will Deal!

Months ago, I wrote about my displeasure over Nate Parker's lack of repentance, empathy, and straight up arrogance after being accused of rape, harassing his victim after the fact, and then the whole story ending in her tragic suicide nearly thirteen years later.

I find it highly distasteful that a man accused of rape would write a screenplay, where there is a rape scene, and then invite the guy, with whom he raped a woman, to co-write with him. But I digress, as  this is not the point of this blog.

My greater issue is that we seem to value art, over the artist,  and over human lives.

Many of you are willing to forego his past transgressions because you really want to see the film. Admit it; there are plenty of other slave narratives (12 Years A Slave, Roots, Queen, etc) executive produced and written by black people, so if it was simply about telling our own stories, there is a plethora of literature and film examples out there. Ultimately, it is that you care more about the art than you do the story, or the artist.

Nate Parker is married to a white woman, any other day you would slander him for it, like you did with OJ, Kobe, MJ, and countless other black men, but again, he has something you want, so you are willing to forego this minor transgression.

Nate Parker is arrogant, narcissistic even; any other black man would be an Uncle Tom, an asshole; again, you are forgiving, make excuses for, and ultimately shrug your shoulders, because you want to see the film.

If Nate Parker were accused of raping your wife, daughter, sister, mother, girlfriend, you would gather up your local posse and perform some street justice, but again, you want to see the film.

You are quick to rally in the streets when policemen kill unarmed black men, and there in the forefront are black women leading the charge. They tell you they have a problem with Nate Parker and his unrepentant, nonchalant attitude about his alleged rape, and you say, "stop trying to tear a brother down"; "we need to see this film," so their feelings, the women who fight so hard on your behalf when the boys in blue take your lives and those who you care about, are tossed aside.

I your fellow brother, fellow black man, sexual trauma survivor, tells you I can't support this film, because it triggers my PTSD, and I don't want to support someone accused of doing something that changed the whole trajectory of my life, and you say "get over it", maybe not literally, but you tell me by spending your money on the film, raving about how good it is, and preaching to me, why I should see it, despite how triggering and traumatic it is for me.

So ultimately it is about the art! And maybe not even the art itself! Maybe, it is about the fact that you need to feel that you are racially aware, "woke", pro-black, this film allows you to prove that!

Because ultimately, regardless of this film, white supremacy will still be a thing, cops will still murder us in the street, our lives still will have lesser value than those of a lighter skin hue, but you got to see good "art", so that is what is most important right?


Until next time.....

Her Name is Patrice Brown, and She is Not Your Bae

They were the pictures that broke the internet. Earlier this week, pictures of a 24 year old Georgia paraprofessional circulated around the internet. The pictures were normal, every day pictures that anyone with an Instagram account would take, but because the lady has curves and is aesthetically gorgeous, they stirred up a great deal of controversy.


Internet haters and admirers alike were so enthralled with the pics that, they named her "Teacher Bae", but her name is Patrice Brown. It is what  her parents named her, I am sure that is what she prefers to be called, so put some respeck on her name!

Black men salivated, which I imagine is  how the name "Teacher Bae" came into existence. They immediately ran to her defense saying they thought she was dressed professionally, how beautiful she was, how much they loved her body! (Because clearly any woman who is sexy, is strictly for a man's viewing pleasure and sexual appetites) (Insert eyeroll here).

Jealous women who themselves do the work of patriarchy just as often as men began the verbal assaults and typical hater comments (She is dressed too sexy for a teacher; she is disturbing the educational process, she looks like she is going to the club, she is promoting pedophilia (I am still scratching my head over the asinine bullshit), she is causing young boys to be oversexualized, etc). The comments were vicious, nauseating, and transformed me back to high school with visions of "mean girls" rather than grown ass women who should be too mature and too busy to be so petty.

You know what I say to all of this? All of you shut the fuck up!

For the men, she is not thinking about your dusty, crusty asses, or else you would have already met her acquaintance. If she was 300lbs and looked like Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son (God rest her soul), you wouldn't give her a second look or care how she was dressed.

For the women, how about uplifting your fellow sister?. Women receive enough bullshit responses from men, why add to another woman's pain by being bitter Bettys and being vicious?

Unless you are paying her bills, giving her a clothing allowance, just shut the fuck up! Oh, I already said that, but it bears repeating because as a society we are too concerned with matters, which don't concern us, too preoccupied with tearing others down, and as black people, we are too focused on the white gaze and acceptance, which I would probably guess most of these comments probably originate from these internal issues.

The school board has reprimanded her, and there is even talk about her possibly losing her job, because of some horny men, and some bitter ass women. All because people feel the need to be keyboard bullies and share their outdated, hypocritical, and judgmental views of how another individual should live his or her life.

What we have learned? I am not talking about Ms. Brown! I am talking about you judgmental assholes, who like to act like tough guys because of the anonymity of the internet.

The lesson here is mind your own  damn business! Because it takes half of your time to mind your own business, and the other half staying the fuck out of everyone else's! Do you get it now?

Until next time....

Please Shut Up About My Age

I am turning 40 next week, next Wednesday to be exact, and it is messing with me. Age 18, I celebrated because I was finally an adult, 21 because I was a "real adult", 25 because I was still young, 30 because I found my voice, but 40 means I am old.

I have received a myriad of responses. Most of them have been you look good for your age (What is a 40 year old  supposed to look like?) Or the standard, "Be glad that you made it to this age." WTF? Look, my best friend died seven years ago at age 32, and I have lost several family members in their 50's, so I know it is a blessing to reach this age, but shut your monkey ass up and let me have my pity party if I want to!

Right now my body is doing crazy stuff. I will spare you the details! I am thinking about all of the energy that I used to have in my 20's! I am thinking about all of the people who were in my life back then, who are either gone through death, or because they royally fucked up, or I fucked up, either way, my social calendar and familial calendar, are not what they used to be, and sometimes that messes with me too!

Years ago, I envisioned my life differently, and so that messes with me. Yes, I am grateful for what I have, the peace, the joy, and some other things, but I just envisioned things a little differently, so allow me to be sad.

I now see why suicide and self-mutilation rates are so high. People reach out to you and tell you how they feel, and you come with some old polyanna, life is great, Jesus freak, bullshit! Let people take agency over their feelings, and if you can't listen, just shut the fuck up!

I am sure over the next week, several weeks, and months, there will be more unsolicited advice, and "suck it up" type responses, and I am telling you'll in advance, "Fuck you, and shut the fuck up"!

I am sure that this will pass, like most things in life, but until it does, support me, or just leave me alone, and as Mama Dee says, "In that order!"


Until next time....

Amerikkka: You Proved Kaepernick's Point

It was the protest that was heard around the world. It was silent, subtle, but it created a firestorm, which hasn't simmered down almost a week later.

In a preseason game against the Green Bay Packers, San Francisco 49er quarterback, Colin Kaepernick refused to stand for the National Anthem, citing state sanctioned violence against black people as his reason for not celebrating a country, which did nothing to eliminate it. Scroll Kaepernick's Twitter timeline, and you are instantly made aware that him lending his voice to social justice issues is nothing new to this young man.

To give you a bit about his history, Kaepernick was born to a white mother and black father in 1987. That white mother for reasons unknown, chose to give him up for adoption, and he was adopted by a white affluent family.

Fast forward to his heroic stance, and the firestorm that it unleashed, and it shows you everything that is both wrong and unpatriotic about this country. White racists took to Twitter calling him all kinds of niggers, insulted his playing ability, posted memes to Facebook, where they compared him to other players who had served in the military, or who showed themselves being patriotic, and essentially told him to shut up since he was making over 19 million a year. Black coons like Montel Williams referring to him as a "spoiled diva" (I guess all of the medical marijuana has gone to his Uncle Tom brain), even his birth mother piped in via Twitter to chastise him. (Imagine living with the knowledge that  the woman who gave you up, because she loved black penis more than she liked raising half black children, would add further insult to injury by trying to humiliate you via social media).

The up side to all of this controversy is that 90% of the black people unconcerned with the white gaze and basic common sense, support Kaepernick, his team supports him, and so far, no backlash has ensued from the NFL. (I won't hold my breath on that last part).

But before you get indignant and filled with righteous patriotism, let me remind you of a few things:

Frances Scott Key who wrote the Star Spangled Banner owned slaves and was against ending slavery, so when he wrote, "The land of the free, and the home of the brave", he wasn't talking about black folks, so  why pay allegiance to his song?

You say patriotism; yet, Cheeto Jesus aka Donald Trump is the leader of a major political party and spews racist rhetoric each day.

You say patriotism; yet, there are photos online of Dylan Roof (the Charleston mass murderer) burning the American flag, and he got Burger King and an online GoFundMe.

You say patriotism; yet, you allow black people to be murdered like dogs in the street, and give their killers paid vacations via tax payer dollars; while you post about lost dogs and dead animals, but don't bat an eyelash over a black mother losing her child; instead, you find ways to assassinate their characters and to blame them for their deaths.

You say patriotism; yet, the armed forces have been notoriously racist and unattentive to black soldiers and veterans alike.

So is this patriotism unanimous, or just for those who allow you to treat them like garbage, while you expect them to smile and keep quiet about it?

For those of you who say, if you don't like this country leave, last time I checked the only true and original inhabitants of this country were Native Americans. I know very few 100% Native Americans, so when are we both leaving? If you tell Kaepernick and me to return to Africa, when are you returning to Europe, since this isn't your original homeland either?

Until Amerikkka gets her priorities straight, I will be joining Kaepernick and refusing to stand for her former slaveholder's song, and if you were really serious about patriotism, and not the fake pretense that you hide behind, you would also!


Until next time.....

Birth of a Rapist: Why I Won't Support Nate Parker's Film

This month marks the 33^rd anniversary of my first sexual experience. Although this is not a story of willingly losing my virginity, but one of being forced through sexual abuse to have sex with an adult who should have known better than to have sex with a six year old child. Thirty-three years later, the memories are still fresh of that August night when my innocence was stolen. With time, the pain has lessened, but there is still pain.

So imagined how shocked I was to hear of Nate Parker and his sordid past as a perpetrator. In 1999, while a college student at Penn State on a wrestling scholarship, Parker was accused of raping a young lady. Not only was accused of raping her, he invited two fellow friends to join in. One guy, Jean Celestin, a fellow wrestling teammate and his co-writer on Birth of a Nation,  decided to participate, a third guy, decided to leave.

When the case went to trial, Nate got off, not because he was innocent, but because in 1999, apparently prior consent (Nate and his victim engaged in oral sex the day before the rape) was good for a lifetime! Jean Celestin was sentenced to six months in jail. However, his case was appealed, and he too was exonerated after the victim refused to testify and go through the trauma again. This should be the end right? No!

Severally traumatized, Parker’s victim implored  Penn State to move her out of her dorm. The university moved her off campus, but published her telephone number in the university directory. Parker and Celestin then hired a private investigator to follow her. Once they found out her new location, began to stalk her outside of her new residence and her classroom buildings.

Eventually the young lady decided to leave school for a bit because it was all too much. She returned a short time later, and Parker and Celestin continued with their harassment and even recruited other students to do the same.

Eventually she dropped out of school altogether. She attempted suicide twice unsuccessfully. Finally in 2012, at the age of 30, she was successful!

Parker and Celestin recently co-authored the film, Birth of a Nation, which highlights the great slave rebellion of Nat Turner in 1831. After appearing at Sundance, Foxlight Cinema purchased rights to the film for 17.5 million.

Many African Americans salivated at the thought of our story being told about slavery where we are more than just slaves, but are revolutionaries.

A small segment of black women, who always support black men are in conflict because supporting Parker means supporting a rapist, but not supporting him means being accused of being a hater of black men.

Black men are honoring the bro code. You know the one that says stand with your fellow brother no matter how outrageous or repugnant is behavior is. Most of them are of the adage that this is the work of white supremacy and angry black women trying to take a “good brother down”. The same men who wailed when George Zimmerman was found innocent of murdering Trayvon Martin, or when four of the six officers who murdered Freddie Gray were found innocent, now all of a sudden tout their belief in jurisprudence in Parker being found innocent. But also know their own behavior is just as repugnant as Parker's (If you have ever had sex with someone unconscious or too drunk to give consent, or participated in a "train", I am talking about you!).

By the way, Nate’s purchasing studio invited Variety and Deadline for interviews thinking they were getting ahead of a big pr storm, but instead, people with a moral compass were saying the rape allegations were too serious for them to ignore, despite the apparent significance of the film.

Many thinkpieces have been written, some supporting, and others rightfully vilifying Parker. Some individuals, are really conflicted. Let me say unequivocally, fuck Nate Parker and his film. I refuse to give my dollars to any man, black, blue or purple, who would violate someone, stalk them after the fact, and then 17 years later play the victim and opine about how much the “incident” has affected his life without any remorse or care for the carnage left in his wake.

The only time Parker has shown contrition is when on August 16,  it was revealed that his victim committed suicide in 2012 and once more people became aware of his unscrupulous past.

Yes, Birth of a Nation details African American history, but I am also an avid reader, and when I want to get true history, not Hollywood gloss, I crack open a book.

As a sexual abuse survivor, and a male feminist, my first concern is with protecting and supporting others who have experienced the same trauma. This supersedes race, gender, economics, celebrity idol worship, or any of the myriad of things that may cause others conflict!

Until next time…..

All Lives Matter But It's Not Inclusive or Unanimous

All Lives Matter is the perfect, politically correct statement, and delusion that we chant daily because we refuse to embrace or accept the racial shitfest that is our society.
But let's examine what All Lives Matter really means, shall we?
For blacks, All Lives Matter means that I have attained a certain status, albeit my good job, nice home, or a certain number of white friends, and if saying this allows me to keep it all, then All Lives Matter!

For blacks, All Lives Matter means that I am practicing good Christianity, which my ancestors obtained from their white slave masters, but since the promise is a better life after I die, after experiencing so much hell on earth, then All Lives Matter!
For blacks, All Lives Matter because to admit that I might possibly meet the same fate as my fellow black brothers and sisters, then All Lives Matter!
For blacks, All Lives Matter because I don't want to be the stereotypical angry black man or woman, then All Lives Matter!
For blacks, All Lives Matter because I have been brainwashed that white is always right, and I feel inferior, then All Lives Matter!
For blacks, All Lives Matter because social media clicks and/or fame, are more important than standing up for what I believe in, then All Lives Matter!
For whites, All Lives Matter because I see how society treats black people, but to do or say anything about it, might threaten my privilege, so All Lives Matter!
For whites, All Lives Matter because I have a certain number of black friends, and I haven't uttered the word nigger lately, so that means, I am not racist, then All Lives Matter.
For whites, All Lives Matter because I love black bodies, music, lingo, and love appropriating various aspects of black culture, but really don't like black people, then All Lives Matter.
For whites, All Lives Matter because I value lost, mistreated, and abused animals, but refuse to stand up or speak out when the same happens to black people, then All Lives Matter.
For whites, All Lives Matter because I call myself a Christian, and as long as I appear as such, then All Lives Matter.
For whites, All Lives Matter because each time that I leave home, I know that I am going to return alive and in the same shape as I left, then All Lives Matter.
So can we stop pretending now? All Lives Matter, but it is not meant to be inclusive or unanimous. It is just feel good rhetoric that makes us sleep well at night, while others suffer!

I Don't Give a Fuck About Harambe, and If You Do, Check Your Brain

I am almost 40, and there are times when I think we have finally reached the height of human depravity. That we can't sink any lower as a race of people, and when I refer to race in this case, I am talking about the human race.

But here we are in the year 2016, when a reality show producer is the nominee and leader of a major political party, and people value animals over human life.

If you have been under a rock because of the holiday, there is a video circulating around the internet of Harambe, a 450lb African gorilla being held in captivity at a Cincinnati zoo. Well, recently a 4 year old fell into the gorilla pit (Some say jumped or intentionally went in, depends on what racist piece of shit you ask, but okay), and to retrieve the young boy, the zoo attendants made a decision to kill the gorilla.

And here is where the story borders on insane. I watched the video, and my heart literally almost stopped as a saw a four year old, who was probably all of 40lbs being dragged across murky water, fully clothed, and screaming to get away from the 450lb beast. That is where it ends for me. You can say that the gorilla was "protecting" the child. You can say the parent was negligent. You can say the animal didn't deserve to be killed.

Now let's tackle the protection aspect. What is safe and secure, at four years old, of being dragged across water, where the animal has probably defecated in, by your arm, while screaming at the top of your lungs, not knowing if the animal is going to hurt you? Think about the physical size of a four year old, coupled with the cognitive development of the child...regardless of the gorilla's intent, the child just had a traumatizing experience, but no, let's talk more about the protection that the gorilla was doing.

Let's talk about the negligence of the parent, because after all, on the internet and social media everyone is the perfect parent (rolls eyes). Some of your children have goose eggs from sibling fights while you are present, some of them have burn marks from placing their hands on your stove, broken bones and bruises from falls, climbing trees(all while you were present). Some of you have even temporarily "lost" your children while in public, but have the nerve to judge and shame another mother because her child fell into a gorilla pit.

Let's talk about the animal's death. Now once the gorilla had control of the child, what other options were there? Gorillas are highly intelligent, but I don't think simply walking up to one and asking, "Would you please release the child?" would be enough to save a 40lb child from a 450lb gorilla. Some of you have suggested tranquilizing the gorilla...how are you going to get close enough to do so, without agitating and making the situations worse? Also, do you know how long it would take the medication for an animal of that size to feel the effects, all while a four year old is being traumatized?

My only concern is the child. He is safe, and that's all that matters for me. Although I have always valued human life over an animal's. And if anything other than this child's well-being and safety is a concern for you, you are probably racist as hell, voting for Donald Trump, married one of your relatives, and are visibly silent when black people are murdered, you know you are part of the "all lives matter" crew.


Until next time.....

Let's Keep It Real For A Moment

As I have stated unequivocally before, the only political concern I have, is make sure Donald Trump's racist, sexist, ass never sees any parts of the White House, and the rest is bullshit.

But this past week, I have seen some disgusting stuff from the Bernie Sanders' camp, so much so, I worry about the mental health of some of you, if he doesn't clinch the nomination. Attacking folks on social media, in public, crying, belly aching are not the symptoms of a "revolution", more like the signs of someone who needs some serious psychotropic drugs. I need for you'll to chill out.

Let's put this in mathematical terms. Bernie is over 250  pledged delegates behind. That is without superdelegates. He is over 3 million popular votes behind. The math is not in his favor!

Let's put this in 2008 election terms. Obama lost the popular vote to Hillary. (You know the same Hillary who you say is part of the "establishment", Wall Street shill, who is rigging the current election) THAT Hillary. Now, if she lost to a black man eight years ago, a black man who was a junior senator, who was a rumored Muslim, and who lives in a country, where most white folks would rather shoot us, and wouldn't spit on us if we were on fire to put it out). The only way Obama secured the nomination was because of the superdelegates, which is what you Bernie Sanders' supporters keep crying is corrupt about the system. Now riddle me this! If the system is corrupt (I am going to play along with your craziness for a moment), how is the system  rigged for a black man, who your racist relatives can't stand, but not for a privileged white man? If the system is rigged for Hillary, why didn't she win in 2008?

Bernie is not Jesus! I know he is white, just as old, and promises free stuff, but he ain't Jesus! Some of you have severed friendships, relationships, got your asses blocked and deleted on social media, and you are still talking revolution and being annoying. I love Barack all day every day, voted for him twice, but he ain't destroying my relationships with nobody who I truly care about. Get a damn grip!

While we are on revolution talk, have you ever truly looked at Bernie's record? Okay, so he has about two pictures (all I have seen) in the 1960's, one of him marching, and the other of him getting arrested (once). Martin Luther King he is not! Dr. King was arrested over 30 times, and took a bullet for us. I think that trumps Bernie's two black and white 1960's photos. But to hear the average Bernie supporter tell it, he was marching side by side with King, like he was Rep. John Lewis or Ralph Albernathy. Get a damn grip!

You do know according to his 2014 taxes (the only year he released by the way), he and his wife made over 200K in income, (over 100K of that is your tax dollars for his Senate seat), they have three mortgages, investments, and retirement (you know those establishment items that he tells you to fight against). How many of you own three homes, make over 200K? Dr. King when he died, had income from his ministry, did not own the home he lived in, and was a pauper (that is revolutionary), not a paid government official. I brought up Dr. King because some of you are equating Bernie's civil rights work to his (rolls eyes).

Let's also look at black people living in Vermont. For every five people, three are in prison, and the other two are as poor as church mice, doing worse than the national average for blacks. Now, if he was going to create a "revolution" and be the savior of black people, why are the ones in his state fairing so poorly (These are facts available via a simple Google search, so don't shoot the messenger).

He voted for the 1994 crime bill! You can explain, excuse, condone, or do whatever you want, but his vote was yes on the bill. Vermont even had its own version on the state level in 1993, which he supported. He even used his vote on the 19994 crime bill, as a selling point for his 2006 Senate seat bid, so let's not rewrite history and solely blame the mass incarceration of black men on Hillary and Bill (By the way, Hillary was a First Lady, which is a title given based upon to whom you are married, but has no voting power).

I am going to tell you Bernie supporters this, once for the Father, once for the Son, and once for the Holy Ghost: Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go!

Bernie has lost; Hillary is the Democratic nominee, and it is time to defeat Trump! You don't like her, So what! I didn't know choosing a president was about being BFF's! She lies and has questionable morals. So does any politician who is alive and breathing. I am sure that you do also; it's just your sins aren't available via a Google search,and you are not in the public eye, but I know some of you, and I can tell you, you are no better, so have a judgmental row of seats!

Because I don't want to live in an America where Trump is in control. That is not what my forefathers fought and gave their lives for. That is not who we are as human beings and as a country. We are fractured, imperfect, and have a great deal of work to do, but we are better than a Trump presidency.

So if it means swallowing your pride, eating some crow, and voting for someone who you do not like, then you will deal! And if you still have reservations, it means you are too privileged to be affected anyway and too privileged to care about those less fortunate than you!

Until next time....

What's Up My Niggas

It was the word that threatened to break the internet, silenced the White House Correspondent's Dinner, and had both black and white people, alike all in their feelings.

After President Obama's night full of shade and good times at his ceremonial last correspondent's dinner, comedian Larry Wilmore followed suit with his own litany of jokes, but it was what he said at the end had the internet buzzing and folks deep in their feelings. He said to President Obama in a congratulatory and joking tone, "Barry, you did that my nigga," while doing a chest dap. Now with the camera trained on President Obama, I saw a smile (a big one I might add), and a chest dap in return. Later in the evening, President Obama personally went up to Larry Wilmore and congratulated him on a job well done.

White people, led by the ever annoying, let me troll black people, and make myself emperor and spokesperson for everything black, Piers Morgan, wrote a lengthy thinkpiece on how appalled he was at Larry Wilmore using the term for the leader of the free world...Even though his fellow white brothers and sisters, called the President's daughter, a minor I might add, the N-word with the "er" on the end, for being accepted into Harvard...I didn't see a thinkpiece or outrage on that Piers! (rolls eyes).

Then there is Ashy Black Twitter who are the purveyors of all things black. Who are constantly concerned with the white gaze, respectability politics, and consistently giving out historical lessons, like the rest of us did not have one history course, about the historical properties of the word. They wrote thinkpieces, gave history lessons, preached, shamed....you know, the usual about how when we use that word we give white people the license to use it...what? Um, newsflash, they were using it during slavery, and long before the "er" was dropped, so your theory and/or shaming attempt are moot points!

But the bigger issue is, you are mad, in your feelings, moreso than the person who the gesture was directed to. President Obama smiled, chest dapped, and congratulated Wilmore. Even had his press secretary tell you'll mad asses the next day, that he took no offense took it, and you'll still lost your minds.

White people are mad, because well, they want to say it too. It's like when you are a kid, and your brother or sister gets certain privileges, you think it is only fair that you receive them also. Get out of here with that foolishness!

Ashy Black Twitter is mad, because for them as pro-black as they say they are, a part of them still is infatuated and affirmed by the white gaze; therefore, they have to maintain a certain level of respectability.  Dr. King and Malcolm X were respectable, but that doesn't make them any less dead, so will your black ass be if you encounter the right racist. If a person hates you because of skin color, your lack of use of the N-word, your dual degrees, your gang tattoos, your grills, none of that matters, you will meet your demise as those long before you.

For the record, I don't use the word. It's a personal choice, not rooted in anything historic, respectable or significant. But I do respect others' use of the term. You know that 1st Amendment thing! Now let me say this my fellow white people, your use of it towards me, will get your ass beat. And to my fellow black brothers and sisters, even if you change it to an "a" ending instead of an "er", I don't want to converse with you that way. Again, it is a matter of preference!

Until next time...

I Don't Need a Pastor or a BFF; I Need a President

With Ted Cruz and John Kasich dropping out of the race this week, Donald Trump is officially the Republican nominee. In this year of our Lord 2016, we have a racist, misogynist, bad toupee, serial cheating, bankruptcy filing, reality tv star as the leader of one of our two major political parties.

On the Democratic side, you have Hillary. Yes, Bernie Sanders' fans; she will be the nominee. Bernie can raise money, you can bash Hillary 24/7 on social media, and you can lament about how crooked you think she is, how she is a war hawk, how she secretly hates black people, campaigned for a racist Goldwater when she was 16 (I didn't know we had lowered the voting age to 16, but okay)...did I miss anything?

Let me tell you privileged people something: Hillary with all of her imperfections is a better choice than Trump. Trying to compare the two is being intellectually dishonest, and is coming from a place of privilege (meaning you are white and are privileged enough to be okay regardless of who wins). But if you are black (Yes, you black Bernie Sanders' supporters are black too), a woman, a member of the LGBT community, and are essentially not a straight white male, you don't have the privilege of a Trump presidency.

So for those of you saying you are not going to vote. That is a vote for Trump. For those of you "revolutionaries" saying you are going to write Bernie's name in on election day (He is 3 million votes and 300 delegates behind now, so my math tells me, that is a wasted vote, which is a vote for Trump), snap out of it, put your big boy drawers and big girl panties on, and get with the program. You are not "woke", revolutionary, or politically astute, or progressive, if you allow Trump in office. What you are, is a  spoiled, privileged individual, having a hissy fit, because you didn't get the candidate who you wanted and are willing to throw other marginalized groups under the bus (women, blacks, immigrants, LGBT, anyone not a straight white male) so you can be right.

At the end of the day, I want a POTUS not a BFF or a pastor. I have both, and I am fine with my choices for both. We need a leader. Someone with experience who can take that 3AM call and not get us nuked in the process.

So between now and November, if you need to be slapped around, need a lobotomy, or your ass kicked to help you make an intelligent, informed voting decision, just call me, because I am more than willing to oblige.


Until next time...

This Week in White Privilege-Piers Morgan's Racism Masked As Freedom of Speech

Beyonce' dropped an epic new album, with the title  Lemonade, which highlighted uplifting black women, forgiveness, redemption, and brought additional attention to the Black Lives Matter Movement. So guess who this album was for? You guessed it! Black women, and that is perfectly fine, considering they are the most shitted on group, but that is not the purpose of this blog.

Art is very personal, and even though it is very personal, and most people will not "get" it, or like it, which is perfectly okay, what you don't get to do is come from a place of privilege, and tell others what type of art that they should do, which is exactly what Piers Morgan tried to do with his critique of Beyonce' and Lemonade.

Piers Morgan interviewed Beyonce' in 2011, and spend several days with her in London, and from those few days, I guess he captured the full essence of her 30 plus years of life (rolls eyes), so he was quite critical of Lemonade, which if critical is a new euphemism for racist, sexist, asshole!

His first comments were that when he met her five years ago, Beyonce' seemed more invested in her art, which was his low key, shady way of saying, since she didn't tout her femininity and bring attention to issues affecting black people, which is the race that she belongs to, then he was more happy with it.

He even went as far to say that he liked her better when her "art was first, and everything else was secondary." Which is code for shut up Negro woman...dance and sing for my enjoyment, but don't you dare address your people's plight.  Don't you dare race bait or be racist (which is what every white person calls you, when you call them out on their racist bullshit. Let me tell you the difference in being a racist, and not being one. Racist: I hate white people. Not racist: That is some fucked up shit that your ancestors did to our people in the form of slavery, lynching, and Jim Crow. See the difference? Calling attention to a racist past or racist behavior is not being racist or race baiting, it is simply telling the truth.

But Piers didn't stop there. In Beyonce's special, she brought in Mothers of the Movement (women whose children's lives were taken due to gun violence). Piers accused Beyonce' of capitalizing on their pain to sell albums. First, Beyonce' is worth about $800 million; she doesn't need to use anyone to sell albums. Her brand speaks for itself. Secondly, if anyone is exploiting victims of gun violence, it is you. Remember when you pretended to care about Trayvon Martin's murder and getting justice for him, but then you allowed his killer's brother on your now defunct show and gave him softball questions, after your network paid him for the same interview and put his family up in a posh hotel? That is called being two faced and exploiting people's pain. So that would be you Piers, not Beyonce'

The even larger truth is that Piers is not alone. Some of my white friends, although they will not verbalize it to me, don't like the new, socially aware and vocal Beyonce'. You will dance your ass off to Single Ladies but when she tells your family members to stop murdering our children, and that when you do, we won't be quiet about it, Beyonce' is all of a sudden a problem. No, you and your racism are the problem. Build a bridge and get over it! Because now that Beyonce' has amassed her fortune and solidified her place in entertainment, I imagine Lemonade only scratches the surface of what she is going to do!

Until next time....

This Week in Ashy Negroes: Harriet Tubman and Why I Want All of the 20's With Her Face on Them

Politico first dropped the story that former slave, great emancipator, and fearless leader, Harriet Tubman would now adorn the $20 bill. At first, I wanted to think that I was dreaming; surely, they weren't going to put a black face on U.S. currency, and not just any black face, but a former slave, who not only became free, but who illegally freed thousands of others.

One of my most favorite quotes, by the late, great Harriet Tubman, "I would have freed millions more, if they had actually known that they were slaves." Which brings me to my next points!

No sooner than the post appeared online, than the Ashy Negro brigade reared its ugly heads. The Ashy Negro brigade, are those African Americans who think they are the litmus test of all that it takes to be an African American (You know the ones who are pro-Bernie Sanders because he is the great white savior, hate anyone who has the last name Clinton, who hate anyone who makes us look bad, and who are constantly on social media posting and telling other African Americans what to think, what to do, how to live, basically, being self-righteous assholes).

Some argued that Harriet would not want her picture on the very currency, which profited from her labor. What? First of all, none of you Ashy Negroes were alive during Harriet's lifetime, so you have  no clue of what her wishes were. My gut feeling tells me anyone who risked life and limb to bring liberation to others, would probably feel honored, but that is just my warped sense of thinking.

Then there is the Ashy Negroes who took issue with the fact that that Andrew Jackson would still be on the back. Newsflash! Who looks at the back of their money? Second, if she is on the front, every white racist still has to look at her black face when they pull their 20's out of the ATM machine and out of their wallets. I certainly pull out and handle my money face up, but maybe I am just strange that way (rolls eyes)!

Finally, there is the group who was wondering could they find another, more aesthetically pleasing picture of her. This is the one that really floored me! This woman brought liberation and safety to many enslaved, some of which were probably your family's descendants, and you are concerned because her "picture" isn't pretty enough? What kind of animals raised you? No, I mean, who are the wilder beasts that are responsible for your level of stupidity?

I don't follow the crowd, nor do I allow the collective opinions of others to dictate my happiness or to decide what is important to me. One hundred and fifty-three years ago we were slaves, and now one of our heroes is going to be on U. S. currency! I am happy!

Is racism over? Hell no! Do African Americans still have many uphill battles to fight? Of course, we are still living and breathing aren't we? But I am going to take my joy where I can get it, and seeing Harriet's black face on my 20's, fills my heart with unspeakable joy. By the way, if you are so offended, you can pass your 20's on over to me, and I will gladly spend them, and thank you, and Harriet in the process!

Until next time....