Sometimes You Have to Cry Stuff Out

Most of my blogs are about racial and social justice, and women's empowerment, but today it's about me. Why? Because it is my damn blog...if you want to choose the topics, create your own!

I am a natural stuffer, which in the psychology world means an individual who doesn't deal with issues head on, but stuffs them away. What happens is over time, you compartmentalize too much stuff, and don't deal with too much, and the next thing you know, you explode, kind of like that pot that you overfill and then it ends up spewing out, all over everything.

Years of residual grief, not feeling appreciated, going through some career stuff, and relationships ending, got the better of me. I had a good old ugly cry, and you know what? I feel refreshed! Crying is not weak, unmanly, or any of those societal things that you are taught. It is cleansing; it is life affirming, and it really puts your emotions in perspective. Which really shows progress and growth in my life, because in my teens and 20's, my go to would have been to attempt suicide, lash out, or have meaningless sex, so yay, for progress!

The epiphany that came to me, was knowing my worth! I grew up feeling neglected, cast aside, and unlovable, as a result, I allowed people into my life who took advantage of that need to be loved, appreciated, and affirmed. I have taken jobs, held on to jobs, friendships, relationships, out of the sheer need for affirmation.

This stops now! And if anyone reading this is going through something similar, say to yourself, "This stops now!"

Yes, there will be setbacks! Yes, you will relapse! But the key through it all, is knowing your worth, and learning the power of "No." One simple word, two letters, but it will change your life. It will keep you from being taken advantage of, it will keep you from doing those things that you really don't want to do, and it will save you a lifetime of bitterness when people take more from your life than they give.

Learn it, embrace, and overall, be good to you. I know that I will!

Until next time......