I was in the grocery store today, waiting to checkout with my groceries. Plastered across the various tabloids, and People Magazine, were stories of the recent breakup between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.
Let me just say, it is always sad to see any marriage breakup, and especially sad, when there are children involved. Their youngest is just three years old.
As with most breakups, details are emerging, and the latest is that the cause may be Ben's inappropriate relationship with the 28 year old nanny.
As I read the story, I saw a story that is not just a Hollywood saga, but one that has played out in regular life on a consistent basis, and as a male who loves, respects, and appreciates women, I had to share this with all of you.
Never, ever, invite another woman into your house to take care of your children! Do I need to repeat this? I know motherhood, having a career, being a wife, and doing countless other things that women do to keep a household running, can be daunting and overwhelming, but never allow another woman into your home.
I don't care if you have J-Lo's body, and are sexing your husband, every day, or several times a day, or how good you think your "hot box" is, no "hot box" is as good as "new" hot box. What I am saying is, that when we as men are getting older, want to feel young again, grow tired and bored, we will seek out a new conquests, so don't invite that kind of drama to your home.
Not I am not saying that women are responsible for their men cheating. But don't provide the tools by bringing in a hot, younger version of yourself.
People tell me I am mistrustful, but I also believe in being proactive and cautious.
I also subscribe to the Chris Rock school of thought when it comes to fidelity. Once during a standup routine, Chris Rock stated and I quote, "A man is only as faithful as his options." If he has options, don't expect fidelity. If he doesn't have them, well, you have yourself a faithful man.
Please accept this, not as women or men bashing...this is simply advice based upon observations and life experience.
Until next time....
Friday, August 7, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Why There is No Forgiveness for Michael Brown's Killer
This week marks the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's murder. It was a murder! His killer walks free, and that tells you everything that you need to know about Amerikkka's justice system, or lack thereof.
The New Yorker had the bright idea to interview his murderer. Lesley McSpadden and Michael Brown Sr, have suffered a tremendous tragedy. Mike Brown's other family members and friends are still in pain, but let's give more attention to the man who is the source of that pain.
I refuse to type or speak his name. He will always be referred to as Michael Brown's killer. Any other identity ceases to exist for me. I wish that I hadn't read the article, and I even question why I did in the first place. A part of me was hoping for some remorse, or at the very least some compassion for the horrible crime that he has committed.
But none of that came forward. He was arrogant, unrepentant, privileged, and racist. His mother was a con artist, who stole thousands, stole other people's identities, and used men as pawns to further her criminal lifestyle. Yet, Michael Brown's killer has the nerve to snub his nose at Michael Brown's family, and the very community that he served in Ferguson.
Instead of offering an apology or sympathy for a family whose lives he shattered, his response is, "he is trying to put this ordeal behind him." Remember this is the same man who referred to Mike Brown as an "it" and a "demon." So not only did he assassinate his body, he furthered the narrative than Michael Brown was less than human.
Before you approach me with that lame Christian rhetoric of forgiveness, let me remind you that even for God to forgive, you must be repentant, confess what you have done wrong, and be sorry, unless you and I are reading different Bibles.
As we head into the weekend on the heels of the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's death, let's honor both his memory and his legacy, by making sure that there are no more tragic deaths like Michael Brown's, and that since the court system did not punish his murderer, that we make sure that he never "polices" again, and is no longer allowed to profit, either monetarily or through constant self-promotion.
Until next time....
The New Yorker had the bright idea to interview his murderer. Lesley McSpadden and Michael Brown Sr, have suffered a tremendous tragedy. Mike Brown's other family members and friends are still in pain, but let's give more attention to the man who is the source of that pain.
I refuse to type or speak his name. He will always be referred to as Michael Brown's killer. Any other identity ceases to exist for me. I wish that I hadn't read the article, and I even question why I did in the first place. A part of me was hoping for some remorse, or at the very least some compassion for the horrible crime that he has committed.
But none of that came forward. He was arrogant, unrepentant, privileged, and racist. His mother was a con artist, who stole thousands, stole other people's identities, and used men as pawns to further her criminal lifestyle. Yet, Michael Brown's killer has the nerve to snub his nose at Michael Brown's family, and the very community that he served in Ferguson.
Instead of offering an apology or sympathy for a family whose lives he shattered, his response is, "he is trying to put this ordeal behind him." Remember this is the same man who referred to Mike Brown as an "it" and a "demon." So not only did he assassinate his body, he furthered the narrative than Michael Brown was less than human.
Before you approach me with that lame Christian rhetoric of forgiveness, let me remind you that even for God to forgive, you must be repentant, confess what you have done wrong, and be sorry, unless you and I are reading different Bibles.
As we head into the weekend on the heels of the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's death, let's honor both his memory and his legacy, by making sure that there are no more tragic deaths like Michael Brown's, and that since the court system did not punish his murderer, that we make sure that he never "polices" again, and is no longer allowed to profit, either monetarily or through constant self-promotion.
Until next time....
Cecil and Jericho: The Only Two Africans that People Care About
Animal rights activists, white people, and new blacks lost their collective shit when word spread that Minnesota dentist, Walter Palmer, killed the beloved lion, Cecil. Online petitions were developed to have his dental practice shutdown, and for him to be extradited back to Zimbabwe to face criminal charges. An internet hoax over the weekend, also stated that Jericho, Cecil's brother had also been killed. The faux outrage spread like wildfire over the internet. Although the story proved to be untrue, the rage was real!
My question is, where is the shock/outrage for the over 500 mothers who have lost their children since January 1 of this year to senseless gun violence. Q. Where is your concern? Where is your petitions, marching, tears, and empathy for these women? Did I mention that these over 500 people dead, are also black? I guess that changes the conversation and the outrage.
The continent of Africa (Yes, Raven Simone it is a continent with over 54 countries FYI), has one of the largest populations dying from HIV/AIDS, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
Thousands of African children die each year due to poverty, disease, malnutrition and host of other issues, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
Thousands of African women are enslaved and are the victims of female genital mutilation, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
So I guess the only way black lives will truly matter, is if we become lions, or at the very least put on lion costumes!
Until next time....
My question is, where is the shock/outrage for the over 500 mothers who have lost their children since January 1 of this year to senseless gun violence. Q. Where is your concern? Where is your petitions, marching, tears, and empathy for these women? Did I mention that these over 500 people dead, are also black? I guess that changes the conversation and the outrage.
The continent of Africa (Yes, Raven Simone it is a continent with over 54 countries FYI), has one of the largest populations dying from HIV/AIDS, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
Thousands of African children die each year due to poverty, disease, malnutrition and host of other issues, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
Thousands of African women are enslaved and are the victims of female genital mutilation, but no let's talk about Cecil and Jericho.
So I guess the only way black lives will truly matter, is if we become lions, or at the very least put on lion costumes!
Until next time....
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Hey NY Times: Your Hoods Are Showing!
The New York Times has a real problem with black people. It all started in August of 2014, during the murder of Mike Brown. They did a huge story on Mike Brown's life, which appeared in their Sunday paper, the day before his funeral. In this article, in their attempt to "humanize" him, they further vilified him by referring to him as "no angel", which inferred that whatever he had done during his life was somehow justification for his death. No compassion, no empathy, and no thought of his parents' grief and the black community's grief of his senseless and violent death.
Less than a month later, in their attempt to cover the meteoric rise of actress, Viola Davis, and her success in headlining her hit television show, How to Get Away With Murder, they remarked that she wasn't "classically beautiful." What does that mean? Well, I have a few ideas! To me, it means that because she is dark skin, has full lips, isn't anorexic, and doesn't appeal to the European standards of beauty, well she isn't classically beautiful.
I think their latest slight is probably the most outrageous. As we all are aware, Serena Williams is the best to ever do it in her sport, tennis. Twenty-one championships, six grand slams, and the most victories of any woman in her field. Instead of focusing on her extreme athleticism, her grace on the tennis court, and her overall good, scandal free character, they printed an article focusing on her masculine her body was, and why her opponents did not want their bodies to look like hers. They implied that due to her muscular frame, that she was less of a woman. We all can read, and I am sure that if her skin was of a lighter hue, their commentary would have been more flattering.
Their timing is impeccable though. This headline and story came on yesterday, the day that the Confederate flag came down in South Carolina. Although its supporters say that it represents heritage and history, it was placed in that space as a direct, and retaliatory response to the Civil Rights Movement. It is ironic that on the day that it finally comes down, that the New York Times, decides to be on the wrong side of history and to print such an inflammatory article.
In living in this black skin in Amerikkka, there is always one step forward toward progress, and two backward toward protecting white privilege and supremacy, and our mainstream media has the patent on keeping it going.
Most people want to blame Fox News, but there are plenty of other online, radio, television, and print mediums with their coded language.
So New York Times, the black community sees your racist tendencies. Maybe as an olive branch, either you can hire more black journalists, take some racial sensitivity training, and print retractions when you make these blaring and offensive errors. That is, if black lives matter to you!
Until next time.....
Less than a month later, in their attempt to cover the meteoric rise of actress, Viola Davis, and her success in headlining her hit television show, How to Get Away With Murder, they remarked that she wasn't "classically beautiful." What does that mean? Well, I have a few ideas! To me, it means that because she is dark skin, has full lips, isn't anorexic, and doesn't appeal to the European standards of beauty, well she isn't classically beautiful.
I think their latest slight is probably the most outrageous. As we all are aware, Serena Williams is the best to ever do it in her sport, tennis. Twenty-one championships, six grand slams, and the most victories of any woman in her field. Instead of focusing on her extreme athleticism, her grace on the tennis court, and her overall good, scandal free character, they printed an article focusing on her masculine her body was, and why her opponents did not want their bodies to look like hers. They implied that due to her muscular frame, that she was less of a woman. We all can read, and I am sure that if her skin was of a lighter hue, their commentary would have been more flattering.
Their timing is impeccable though. This headline and story came on yesterday, the day that the Confederate flag came down in South Carolina. Although its supporters say that it represents heritage and history, it was placed in that space as a direct, and retaliatory response to the Civil Rights Movement. It is ironic that on the day that it finally comes down, that the New York Times, decides to be on the wrong side of history and to print such an inflammatory article.
In living in this black skin in Amerikkka, there is always one step forward toward progress, and two backward toward protecting white privilege and supremacy, and our mainstream media has the patent on keeping it going.
Most people want to blame Fox News, but there are plenty of other online, radio, television, and print mediums with their coded language.
So New York Times, the black community sees your racist tendencies. Maybe as an olive branch, either you can hire more black journalists, take some racial sensitivity training, and print retractions when you make these blaring and offensive errors. That is, if black lives matter to you!
Until next time.....
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
It's Time to Eat Some Humble Pie!
When the allegations first came to light regarding Bill Cosby, folks lost their collective minds. How dare folks accuse America's favorite tv dad of raping women. He can get any woman he wants! (Like rape has ever been about getting women or sex!). You called the women golddiggers (At this time, only one has received monetary compensation, and only after she brought a 2005 civil suit against him, after a 2004 attack).
Over 47 women have come forward and still, you'll caped for him, acted just like he was your granddaddy, uncle, or someone you knew personally. The majority of the women were white, and there was no way a black man would get away with raping a white woman in 1960 America at the height of the Civil Rights Movement (insert eyeroll here).
When black victims starting coming to light, you still didn't believe it. Even though Bill Cosby hasn't done anything for the black community in ages. He tried to shame you into submission during his 2004 campaign of "pull up your pants and speak correct English" (Ironically, this is the same year that he raped his last known victim).
In fact, it was this moralizing campaign that prompted a judge to unseal the contents of the 2005 civil trial. Ironic isn't? Bill was telling us how to live, while raping women, and this moralizing is what is now the cause of his downfall.
Jill Scott was a true person of character as she took to her Twitter, and publicly apologized for supporting Cosby in his lewd behavior. I want to see apologies from Camille Cosby, Phylicia Rasha, Malcolm Jamal Warner, Keisha Knight Pulliam, and comedian, Faizon Love. Each took to social media and regular media and publicly ridiculed and slut shamed the women who they felt were out to destroy Cosby's legacy.
Some of the rest of you regular every day folks did the same. Where are your apologies with these latest revelations? Will you be as aggressive with your apologies, as you were your support of Cosby and in slut shaming these women? I think that I know my answer to this question!
If this Cosby saga teaches us anything, is that we hero worship people too much. Black folks look for heroes in the most undeserving areas, men don't really care about the very women who support, open their legs to, and take care of, and the need to be right is more important than humility.
Until next time....
Over 47 women have come forward and still, you'll caped for him, acted just like he was your granddaddy, uncle, or someone you knew personally. The majority of the women were white, and there was no way a black man would get away with raping a white woman in 1960 America at the height of the Civil Rights Movement (insert eyeroll here).
When black victims starting coming to light, you still didn't believe it. Even though Bill Cosby hasn't done anything for the black community in ages. He tried to shame you into submission during his 2004 campaign of "pull up your pants and speak correct English" (Ironically, this is the same year that he raped his last known victim).
In fact, it was this moralizing campaign that prompted a judge to unseal the contents of the 2005 civil trial. Ironic isn't? Bill was telling us how to live, while raping women, and this moralizing is what is now the cause of his downfall.
Jill Scott was a true person of character as she took to her Twitter, and publicly apologized for supporting Cosby in his lewd behavior. I want to see apologies from Camille Cosby, Phylicia Rasha, Malcolm Jamal Warner, Keisha Knight Pulliam, and comedian, Faizon Love. Each took to social media and regular media and publicly ridiculed and slut shamed the women who they felt were out to destroy Cosby's legacy.
Some of the rest of you regular every day folks did the same. Where are your apologies with these latest revelations? Will you be as aggressive with your apologies, as you were your support of Cosby and in slut shaming these women? I think that I know my answer to this question!
If this Cosby saga teaches us anything, is that we hero worship people too much. Black folks look for heroes in the most undeserving areas, men don't really care about the very women who support, open their legs to, and take care of, and the need to be right is more important than humility.
Until next time....
Friday, July 3, 2015
Bristol Palin: Hypocrite or Decision Maker?
Let me preface what I am about to write with, I despite everything Palin. They are rude, lewd, and crude, so this blog post is not an "I Support the Palins campaign." But I do support a woman's choice to make reproductive decisions without shame and slander.
Bristol Palin has taken heat recently because she made the choice to have her second out of wedlock child. Now she embarked on an abstinence tour, where she was paid 250K per appearance. Let me just say she was wrong for using her bigoted platform to shame other young people into making a decision about their sex lives, while she was have sex herself. Just as she made the choice to make her own reproductive and sexual choices, she should have afforded the same opportunity for decision making to other young people.
But the slander and ridicule that she is receiving for making a decision to have a child, is dead wrong. Christian Conservatives are blasting her, so are other women, in fact they are probably the most vicious.
We are society that likes to see people fall from grace. Hey, I have to admit that I do too when they are especially pompous and self-righteous (ie. Josh Duggar), but what I don't like to see our women being shamed about their sexual and reproductive choices. Are we going to place Bristol's baby daddy under that same microscope of scorn and shame? If not, we need to leave her alone as well.
Is she a hypocrite? Most certainly for shaming other young people to abstain from sex when she wasn't. But her choosing to have a child is not only personal, but should not be the subject of internet fodder.
Until next time....
Bristol Palin has taken heat recently because she made the choice to have her second out of wedlock child. Now she embarked on an abstinence tour, where she was paid 250K per appearance. Let me just say she was wrong for using her bigoted platform to shame other young people into making a decision about their sex lives, while she was have sex herself. Just as she made the choice to make her own reproductive and sexual choices, she should have afforded the same opportunity for decision making to other young people.
But the slander and ridicule that she is receiving for making a decision to have a child, is dead wrong. Christian Conservatives are blasting her, so are other women, in fact they are probably the most vicious.
We are society that likes to see people fall from grace. Hey, I have to admit that I do too when they are especially pompous and self-righteous (ie. Josh Duggar), but what I don't like to see our women being shamed about their sexual and reproductive choices. Are we going to place Bristol's baby daddy under that same microscope of scorn and shame? If not, we need to leave her alone as well.
Is she a hypocrite? Most certainly for shaming other young people to abstain from sex when she wasn't. But her choosing to have a child is not only personal, but should not be the subject of internet fodder.
Until next time....
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Black Churches Are Burning, But Whatever!
There have been eight church fires in the two weeks since the Charleston massacre, but there has been radio silence in mainstream media. In fact, the only reason why we know anything is due to the diligence of activists via Twitter.
When the Quiktrip burned in Ferguson after Mike Brown's murder, or when CVS burned in Baltimore after Freddie Gray's murder, many of you flocked to social media to express your outrage. How dare those black savages destroy property. which was the response every low key racist, who is not really a racist because they have black friends or employ black people (insert eyeroll here). Even new blacks (those black people who don't really think that they are black, or black when it is convenient) had scorn for the blacks who made the race "look bad." Mainstream media circled like vultures. They filmed as the buildings burning in the background, and salivated at the ratings opportunity that was afforded to their respective networks, but I haven't heard a peep from any of these groups about the eight black church fires.
Even the federal government is trying to duck and cover. Oh yes, they have already blamed three on either faulty wiring and/or acts of God (Now mind you, many of these churches are hundreds of years old, and have survived up until this point, so I am sure their wiring is fine, and I honestly don't believe God would destroy his own house, but that's just my warped sense of thinking).
It is quite interesting that these fires started happening just as there was a national push and outcry to ban the Confederate flag, but I am sure this has nothing to do with that right? If you believe that, I have a bridge in New Jersey to sell you (unobstructed by Chris Christie of course).
Even prominent church pastors are silent. Donnie McClurkin and T.D. Jakes did not shy away from giving their thoughts on gay marriage, but radio silence on white supremacists burning the house of the Lord I guess is perfectly fine in their eyes. Creflo Dollar can beg via social media for his $65 million dollar jet, but I haven't heard a peep from him, about the very foundation that provides for his pimp, I mean pastoral lifestyle!
One thing is for certain, the nation is getting a front row seat to what happens when white supremacy and privilege are challenged. I think we know how this story will end!
Until next time....
When the Quiktrip burned in Ferguson after Mike Brown's murder, or when CVS burned in Baltimore after Freddie Gray's murder, many of you flocked to social media to express your outrage. How dare those black savages destroy property. which was the response every low key racist, who is not really a racist because they have black friends or employ black people (insert eyeroll here). Even new blacks (those black people who don't really think that they are black, or black when it is convenient) had scorn for the blacks who made the race "look bad." Mainstream media circled like vultures. They filmed as the buildings burning in the background, and salivated at the ratings opportunity that was afforded to their respective networks, but I haven't heard a peep from any of these groups about the eight black church fires.
Even the federal government is trying to duck and cover. Oh yes, they have already blamed three on either faulty wiring and/or acts of God (Now mind you, many of these churches are hundreds of years old, and have survived up until this point, so I am sure their wiring is fine, and I honestly don't believe God would destroy his own house, but that's just my warped sense of thinking).
It is quite interesting that these fires started happening just as there was a national push and outcry to ban the Confederate flag, but I am sure this has nothing to do with that right? If you believe that, I have a bridge in New Jersey to sell you (unobstructed by Chris Christie of course).
Even prominent church pastors are silent. Donnie McClurkin and T.D. Jakes did not shy away from giving their thoughts on gay marriage, but radio silence on white supremacists burning the house of the Lord I guess is perfectly fine in their eyes. Creflo Dollar can beg via social media for his $65 million dollar jet, but I haven't heard a peep from him, about the very foundation that provides for his pimp, I mean pastoral lifestyle!
One thing is for certain, the nation is getting a front row seat to what happens when white supremacy and privilege are challenged. I think we know how this story will end!
Until next time....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)