What's It Going To Take: Philando Castile and Why I'm Mad As Hell

Against my better judgment, I watched the video of Philando Castile's last minutes on this earth. I thought about not watching it, but I figured if Diamond Reynolds and her four year old daughter could live through it, and show courage and conviction throughout this horrible, life changing ordeal, then I could at least view the video.

It’s ten minutes of heart wrenching fury. The video begins with Philando’s murderer (he shot him at point blank range , with no regard for his life, and the lives of his passengers, so that is how I will refer to him; he doesn’t deserve any acknowledgement beyond that). 

The murderer flashes his lights for Philando to pull over. Only mere seconds pass, and Philando pulls over in compliance to the shoulder of the road. His murderer walks up to the car, hands slightly resting on his holstered weapon (This shows me he is already prepared to use it). He tells Philando that he pulled him over for a non-working brake light, although we clearly see two working lights in the video. (Although prior to exiting his car, you can hear him radioing his superiors that Philando fits the description of a robbery suspect due to his  “wide setting” nose (Most black people have big noses, it is too dark to tell that when you are behind someone (#rollseyes). He asks for Philando’s registration and driver’s license. Philando hands him his registration, while letting him know that he has a weapon because he is a concealed carrier. The murderer says don’t touch it or pull it out. Philando says okay. He reaches in his pocket for his license (which his murderer asked for). The murderer begins screaming, fires seven rounds in mere seconds (five hit Philando).

 After the shooting, his murder trains his weapon on him for three solid minutes, no attempts at CPR. He has a partner who takes Philando’s girlfriend’s daughter away (Mind you he is standing there on the passenger’s side the entire time. Never afraid enough to draw his weapon. The only time he even moves, is when the murderer begins shooting to keep from getting hit). Think about it! He is at the car as well, but is never afraid of anyone, until his partner begins discharging his weapon. So the officer being afraid is total bullshit! It takes another two minutes before CPR is started! That is five minutes after receiving five potentially life threatening shots to receive medical aid. When they remove him from the car, Philando is dragged out by his arm (Remember a few of the rounds actually hit him in the arms, and bleeding out from those injuries led to his death).

Meanwhile, his murderer is yelling expletives; Diamond Reynolds, Philando’s girlfriend and passenger, after her life being possibly ended, is placed in handcuffs. She is calm, resilient, not a threat; yet, she is placed in handcuffs like a common criminal. Her daughter, four years old, a mere baby, is watching all of this, as they sit in the back of a police car together; the man who they both love, lying on a pavement bleeding out. (Diamond is taken to the police station, questioned relentlessly for hours, separated from her child, her phone. She found out about his death, almost 12 hours later).

The jury of 10 whites, 2 blacks, watched that same video; yet, acquitted Philando’s murderer of all charges. I am beyond angry. What makes me even more angry is the stunning silence of my fellow white friends. You can get upset and post about a wounded or missing animal, you can post about a blond haired, blue eyed child missing, some of you’ll are still mad at Michael Vick after all these years, even though he has served his time and paid restitution, but when it comes to black lives, you are silent.

 You love our music, our bodies, you delight in our comedy, but when we die, you are silent.  When cops are murdered (most are murdered by white men by the way), you post all kinds of blue lives matter rhetoric, always posting about your love of cops, but when they are in the wrong, and yes, they are human and can be wrong, you are silent.

I have friends who are cops. And you know what? I don’t know one who has denounced what Philando’s murderer did. Not a judgment, not slander, but truth, as I speak with them often. Yes, there are good cops, but when you allow your fellow brothers to do wrong, and don’t call them out or denounce them, you are culpable. Silence is compliance! 

When you as a white culture are silent, what you show us as your fellow black Americans that our culture (music, slang, comedy, anything that entertains you) are more important than us. Because I guarantee you, if white people were getting murdered at these rates with no consequence or punishment, things would change. I guarantee if more black people started getting concealed weapons permits, shooting back, retaliating with some street justice, things would change.

I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I don’t have any at this point, but what I do know, your silence is deafening. It shows where your heart is, especially when you have been so vocal on some many other issues and causes that are far less important.

I shouldn’t have to live in fear of the police. I shouldn’t have to leave in fear, each time I leave my home, not knowing if I or my family members will return safely.

So what is going to take?

Until next time….

Bill Maher Is A Racist, Sexist, Islamophobe, and You Will Deal!

On Friday's edition of Real Time with Bill Maher, Bill interviewed Nebraska Republican Senator Ben Sasse.

During the interview, Sasse suggested that Maher visit Nebraska and work in the fields, to which Maher replied, “I’m a house  nigger.” Sasse nervously laughed, and the audience clapped loud enough to cause friction burns to their hands.

Before we go any further let me share something with white people: the word nigger is never okay in any context. It is sad that in 2017 that I have to explain this to anyone over three, but let me spoon feed you the point. I don’t care how many hip hop songs contain the words, or black people using it as a term of endearment towards each other, how much black penis and/or vagina that you have had, how many black friends that you have acquired, how many black neighborhoods you have lived in, how many black women have been your nanny, how many black people you have consumed alcohol or weed with, how many black friends told you that it was okay, or they are not bothered by it, or how much money you donated to Obama’s campaigns and/or how many times you voted for him; don’t use it!

But the larger issue is that for far too long racists like Bill Maher have been given too much leniency, and the bar has been set too low for what is considered racism. We have relegated racists to people who use “nigger” directed towards black people (as long as they call themselves one or tell a joke with the word, it’s okay (no the fuck it is not), or to card carrying members of the KKK, or to someone being a Republican (yes, the majority of your asses are racist as fuck). The bar is much higher than that, or at least it should be!

But even more problematic is the fact that Bill Maher has a long history of racial strife. It started with his Islamophobia. If you have watched his show at any point over the last five years, at least once, and sometimes twice a week, he does a segment where he viciously demonizes the Islamic religion. Even Ben Affleck (king of douchebaggery) called him out on his Islamophobia, and you noticed Ben has not graced his show since, because God forbid you don’t allow a white man in Amerikkka to spew hatred towards a marginalized group.

But we said Islamophobia was okay. We said it was okay, when mainstream media and citizens alike, never called him out, instead they nervously laughed, the audience clapped, and Bill went on spewing his hateful rhetoric.

Wayne Brady, four years ago, told you’ll that Bill was a racist prick. Four years ago, Bill Maher took it upon himself, as a white man, who has never been black or had the black experience, to tell other blacks that they weren’t black enough, and in his commentary he mentioned Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady responded that when he saw Bill Maher, he was going to beat his ass since his stereotypical image of black men was that they had to be violent and tough in order to be considered black enough. That is the most racist shit in the world, but you’ll still gave Bill a pass.

Karrine Steffans who is known to most mainstream society as Superhead. She has a history of sleeping with famous men and writing tell all books. She said, and I quote, “Bill Maher will never date white or intelligent women. He wants women that he can tell how big their booties are, to shut up if they challenge him, and allow him to live out his fetish of having a black woman. I wanted more than that.” Now because Steffans sleeps around and writes about it, people discredited her, called her all kinds of derogatory names. But let me place this in perspective for you, out of all her tell all books (I have read three), not one man has sued her for libel or defamation of character, nor have any of them stated that she lied about her experiences with them, including Bill Maher. So if she says he only fetishizes black women, which is a form of racism, I am more likely to believe her than you, since she actually swapped spit and other body fluids with the guy.

Here are two black people who told you that Bill Maher is a racist, and you are acting like water is not wet, or you have to eat a whole cow to know it’s beef! Are you that intellectually obtuse?

White people do better. Examine yourselves, and stop doing the bare minimum when it comes to race relations. Above all stop telling black people how to deal with race. Because I guarantee you if Maher made a Holocaust joke, you would have him off HBO in a New York minute. So don’t look the other way, or tell black people what should be funny or should bother them about someone else’s inflammatory language and behavior.

Black people you do better too. Stop being so concerned with the white gaze, having white friends, and acquiring things that you allow people to disrespect you. Maybe the word nigger doesn’t bother you, but I know plenty of your fellow black brothers and sisters who are offended by it, so check your white friends and colleagues and stop caping for white people who wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire. One of the most disheartening things yesterday was to see Eric Michael Dyson talking about Bill Maher being his friend and admonishing other black people for calling him out on his racist behavior. He is a powerful voice in the black community, rather than taking Maher to task, he was admonishing other black people about being too hard on Maher. What kind of leadership is that?

Bill Maher should suffer the same type of consequences as Kathy Griffin did, but I bet he won’t because white male privilege is real, and women and minorities don’t get that same forgiving grace when they mess up.

Until next time…..

Stop Judging People's Forgiveness Journeys

"If you haven't had the experience, you do not have a right to judge the process." This thought came to me just two days ago, as I thought about that foregone conclusion better known as "forgiveness."

There was a story last week of Kevin Hart and his new wife's pregnancy announcement. Immediately, our lame media reached out to his ex-wife Torrie Hart to get her reaction, ready to pounce on her and drag her name through the mud, if her response was anything but positive. The truth is she needs to be left alone. Kevin cheated on her and left their marriage for this very woman. She was with Kevin when he was making $50 a night at local comedy club, keeping their home together, and raising his two children. She has more than earned the right to feel some type of way. Whether she reacts positively or negatively towards him, it is her choice, her forgiveness process.

Then there's Mary Harvey, Steve Harvey's second wife (His on wife number three; yet, you'll monkey tails keep buying his relationship books #rollseyes). News broke on last week that she has filed a 60 million civil suit alleging that he kidnapped their son and murdered her soul. Keep in mind that she lost custody of her son due to Steve's vicious slander, was almost jailed, and it is rumored that he engaged in an affair with his current wife, while still married to Mary. Now only the two of them know what truly transpired, but whether she chooses to forgive him or not, her journey, her process.

Many of you know my story; almost 34 years ago this coming August, I was molested, and this event changed the trajectory of my life. I am still affected by it. Now are those who feel that I should move on, or at the very least stop talking about it. How do I know? You change the subject or get quiet when I mention it. Over time, the idea of forgiveness has come up, and honestly, I don't know if I am there. What I know is that it is difficult to forgive when there is no apology, no acknowledgment, or when you continue to suffer long after the other person has moved on, which I would imagine is something very similar to what Torrie Hart and Mary Harvey may be experiencing.

Now any self-help guru worth his or her salt will tell you that ":forgiveness is not about the other person, it is what you need to do to be okay." I call bullshit! Forgiveness is about all parties involved; the burden should not be placed upon the offended party to be the bigger person, and if you subscribe to a religion that teaches you that kind of malarkey, you need to rethink your religion.

Some people forgive within months, for some it may take years, and in all honesty, for some it never occurs. But wherever the offended party is in that journey, allow the individual to have his or her feelings. If you haven't experienced the trauma, keep your well meaning, Bible quoting, psycho babble to yourself. Even if you have experienced the trauma, know that everyone's journey is different and no two people experience or deal with trauma the same.

Listen, show empathy, and learn to be silent, unless you are asked to speak!

Until next time....

Rompers and Toxic Masculinity

There are many nonsense debates and hot topics via social media. It is a platform that has become a breeding ground for assholes, those with low self-esteem, and those who I refer to as keyboard bullies (chicken shits who would never say those things to you in public, but have the courage of David when he slew Goliath, when they are on social media).

One of these nonsensical topics was men wearing rompers. For those of you who are not fashionably astute, rompers are one piece short sets, where the top and bottom halves are all one piece.

The overly masculine men had plenty to say (you know the ones who are overly aggressive via social media because they are trying to "show out" for their boys, while claiming to love women). The ones who are experts on everything manly, but have no problem receiving oral sex from men, or cruising adult bookstores and dark alleys for men to "experiment" with. Trust me.  there are more of these type men than you think. This is not to say that every man who has a dissenting opinion is down low, but when you make that your primary focus, and you will always have to chime in when these type of conversations arise, then yes, you have some latent tendencies that you might need to see a therapist about.  Men who are truly heterosexual, don't take the time to worry about other men; they are too busy handling their own manhoods to give another man a second thought!


 But the saddest thing is, the women even chimed in (but these same women have no problem having a gay best friend, gay hair dresser, or letting a gay man direct their choir at church (I call them fag hags. Women who like gay men, strictly if they can use or abuse them for their own fodder). I feel sorry for the gay men who even consider you a friend, because they deserve better.

 But while we are on the subject of real men, let's talk about a few things!

1. Real men make sure that all of their children have the same mother. Oh, you are quiet now. There is nothing more disgusting when you have several children, and none of them have the same mother. Why? Because there is no way you can give ample time, attention, and care, when all of your children don't live in the same household. Someone gets short changed. One of the major reasons why there are so many fucked up adults, because you spread your "seed" around, rather than making it work with one woman. Yes, life happens, but when your bulk of your manhood is centered around your dick, rather than things that actually matter, these things tend to happen.

2. Real men make sure their sons respect women. It is upsetting to see memes, conversations, and overall toxic masculinity where men disrespect women. These same men would catch a case if someone spoke to or about their mothers or sisters in the same way. And while we are on the subject, you don't have to be related to, or connected to a woman, to show them respect. It should come naturally; that is what real men do!

3. Real men teach their sons that there is more to life than sports. Some of you constantly brag about your son's prowess in sports; yet, he is not reading on his grade level. If and this is a big if, he does play professional ball, who is going to read his contract to him? Trust me the sports organization is going to be looking out for themselves, and so are the lawyers. It's downright sad because you can see these fathers living out their failed dreams through their sons. Most of the time when I see academic related post about males, it comes from their mothers, wives, or some other woman in their lives. Let's stop this caveman shit! Sports are great; there is nothing better than a good basketball game, but you need to teach those little mofos that being educated is not white, nor is it not masculine, and make sure they can be their woman's equal on an intellectual level as well.

4. Real men take care of home! I have so many women in my life (co-workers, relatives, casual acquaintances, etc) who are working multiple jobs, and their men have one job. What is wrong with this picture? If you are truly the "man" as you "flex" about via social media, why is your woman working harder than you? Shouldn't your woman have one job or no job, and you are the one with the multiple jobs? If your woman is working harder than you, then you are not the man, you are just a roommate (get mad, but these are facts). If money is that tight, you should be the one with the side hustle, because that is what real men do! Maybe, if you cut out some of your gym time, your wives/girlfriends won't have to work so hard. (I am going to quit before you'll get too mad). Ha!

So now that I have highlighted some things about how some of you don't have your shit together, is a romper a really big deal? Prince (God rest his soul) wore makeup, heels, butt out jeans, and got more ass than some of you who are always showing us various parts of your body, which we do not want to see, but you show us anyway). The late James Brown, Elvis Presley, and Sean Connery in his James Bond role, all wore rompers during the 1970's, and either one of these men in their prime could get more ass than any of you, in those rompers.

The point is when you are concerned with your own manhood, when you are doing it right, you really don't have the time or energy to worry about another man's manhood. Because clothes don't determine sexuality, attraction and sexual activity do. Above all, mind your business! You will never see me in a romper; not because I think it's wrong, but I have a weird shaped body, and they are not for me! But if I see another man wearing one, I will not judge or question his sexuality, I will simply say, it's not for me, and move on with life, and some of the rest of you would be better off doing the same.

And for those of you who want to wear one, but are too preoccupied with what your "boys" may say, do you! Because I bet those same mofos who you are "flexing" for have some secrets that they don't want to you to know about!


Until next time......